Selene

 

171 AD

 

I

 

The gray sky threatened rain but for the young tribune who was proceeding at small gallop in the Spanish countryside it could not have been a more beautiful day.

“I am returning home," thought Maximus Decimus Meridas, happy not only for the possibility of seeing  his mother again after nearly two years of separation, but also because that leave was Marcus Aurelius’ reward for a brilliant victory against the Quadi tribes. Maximus knew he was going to be promoted to general upon his return to Germania, and he was looking forward to telling his mother about it.

As he proceeded along the dusty road, Maximus’ memory returned to the last time he had been home... How different that occasion had been! Instead of almost bursting happiness, he had carried with him only a broken heart: his affair with Lucilla, Marcus Aurelius’ daughter, had ended with a mighty fight when he had discovered the girl had been engaged to the Co-emperor, Lucius Verus, without first having the decency to inform him, Maximus, that their relationship had ended. Many angry words had flown that night and their furious shouts had been heard by many persons in the imperial summer residence. Luckily Marcus Aurelius had taken it well and, instead of punishing Maximus as the young man had fully expected, he had sent him home for a leave, telling him to find himself a good girl and settle down. Two years before, in his desperate mood Maximus had not be willing to search for a wife, but now it was different and he fully intended to follow his emperor’s advice, hoping to find his soul-mate, even if he knew it would not be easy. He wanted an intelligent and beautiful woman, strong and kind, that could be his equal and not a submissive person, only good to make sons, like the wives of many of his companions in the army... Maximus could not continue with his reflections because desperate screams attracted his attention.

"Help! Help, somebody help me!" Came a shout from a feminine voice.

Maximus tensed and then launched the horse in the direction of the cries.

 

*****

 

He saw her at once: she was lying near the edge of a channel, her arms stretched out in the vain attempt to seize something in the water.

"What’s happened?" asked Maximus, stopping the horse and dismounting quickly.

The young woman stood and looked at him with imploring eyes, "Domine, help me please. My dog has fallen in the channel and he is not able to climb out...he is at the end of his endurance.. I can’t swim..and I- " He did not let her finish: he removed his armor and dove into the water with a clean leap. A few powerful arm-strokes were sufficient to catch up with the little animal and sieze it. Once returned to the dry ground, Maximus watched with satisfaction as the girl hugged the black and white dog to herself and covered it with kisses. He observed the way her smile lightened her olive face and her beautiful brown eyes, then his gaze moved to her long black hair, full lips and shapely figure. Suddenly becoming aware he was staring at her in an impolite way, he tried to behave like a gentleman, averting his eyes and squeezing his soaked tunic dry as best as he could.

 

*****

 

Selene gave a last kiss to her dog, Amor, and put it on the ground, turning then to thank the young man who had helped her.

When she was taken over by terror, she had not looked at him well, but now she noticed everything: the clear eyes, the dark hair and the short beard that hardened his gentle features. She also noticed his sturdy body to which the wet tunica fit like a second skin. Staring at him now, she had calmed down to make memories return and she realized who he was.

“I don’t know how to thank you, Maximus.” She said.

The young man gave her a puzzled look, “You know me, lady?”

“Of course. You are Maximus Decimus Meridas, soldier and owner of the farm near the stream.”

The tribune nodded his head, “May I ask your name too?”

Selene smiled, “I see you don’t remember me, even if we went to school together. My name is Selene Arriana Corvina.”

“You are little Selene?” Maximus’ eyes widened. “How much you have changed since our school days!” He looked at her with admiration and then he said, as his memory started to work again, “Congratulations, my mother wrote me you had gotten married two months ago.” The legionary had only wanted to be polite and gracious, thus he was appalled to see the young woman’s pretty face pale, as her smile left her and she lowered her eyes to the ground. “Did I say something wrong?” She did not reply and he reached out a hand to brush her arm, “Are you feeling well, lady?”

“Don’t touch me!” Selene hissed as her eyes darted in every direction like those of a scared deer.

Maximus stepped back, a bit hurt by her reaction, “It’s all right, Selene.” He tried to soothe her, inwardly wondering what was troubling her.

“I must go,” she said curtly. “Thank you again for your help.” And before he was able to move, Selene picked up her dog and began to walk away.

“Wait!” Maximus called, “It’s going to rain, you will never arrive in the town before the drops begin to fall! Let me accompany you with my horse....”

“No! I want to go alone.” She replied barely turning her head, and without breaking her walk.

Maximus watched her cut through the fields, disappearing quickly from his sight. He then sighed and returned to his stallion, mounting quickly and heading to his home.

 

*****

 

When Maximus reached his villa, he found all his servants, led by the supervisor Publius, gathered in the courtyard to receive him despite the pouring rain.

“Domine,” many of them said, sincerely happy to see him again but Maximus noticed at once his mother’s absence,

“Where is my mother?” he asked worried.

Publio lowered his eyes, “Domine, the mistress had an accident and-”

“What accident?” Maximus interrupted him, rushing inside the house without waiting for an answer.

He quickly reached his mother’s room, stopped a minute outside the door, trying to brace himself for the worst, and then entered.

His mother was on the bed, sitting with her back supported by a pile of pillows, her legs extended in front of her, busily concentrating on embroidery

“Mother,” he said softly.

The woman raised the eyes and exclaimed, “Maximus!” The sewing job fell from her hands as she stretched her arms towards her son.

Maximus crossed the room in a flash and, sitting on the bed, he embraced the woman. They hugged each other for a long time, then she moved back a little to look at him with love, “Let me see you,” she murmured, taking in the little changes time had made to his face, “You are so handsome..” she brushed his beard and added with tears in her voice, “Oh, Maximus, how much you resemble your father! And how proud he would be to see you now!”

The young tribune listened in silence to his mother’s affectionate comments, not trusting his own voice. When he had resumed control of his emotions he asked, "What has happened, mother? They said to me that you had an accident."

She nodded, “While I was collecting the pears, the stool I was standing on collapsed under me and I fell, breaking one of my legs.”

“Mother!” Maximus exclaimed in a reproachful tone, “We have servants in order to do these things! You must not tire or endanger yourself.”

His mother shook her head, “And what I should do? Stay in the house and do nothing? Since your father died and you left for the army, this house has become so cold I try to spend as little time inside as I can.”

“Oh, mother,” said Maximus saddened, “why didn't you let me know?”

“To what end, my son? To make you feel guilty for something you are not responsible for?” the woman patted his cheek, “No, Maximus, you already have enough things to care for without needing to worry for an old woman’s little quirks. But now, enough with this sad story... Go to change your clothes before you catch a cold and then return here, we have so many things to say to each other! I want to know everything about your life in the army! Come on, go change and be quick!”

Maximus obeyed at once, shaking his head in amusement: his mother would never change; she would always consider him her little boy. And truth to tell, he loved it.

 

II

 

A couple of days later Maximus went to Trujillo with the idea to find a lady-in-waiting to keep his mother company and help with her things. While he toured the city and asked to the citizens if they could suggest some names to him, he also looked around, trying to see if Selene was among the women crowding the market: he wanted to check if she was all right. He did not see her, but he almost jumped when the innkeeper he was speaking with mentioned the girl’s name.

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I know she is searching for a job.”

“Good. Where I can find her?”

“Her father’s domus is the first on the left wing of the decumanus maximus.” (main street)

“Thank you.” Maximus paid for the cup of wine he had been drinking and left the tavern. As he walked to the house he had been told of, he wondered why Arrianus, who was a wealthy merchant, needed to have one of his daughters working. Thinking that perhaps the man was only experiencing a temporary setback, he decided to not enquire about the matter, to not create any discomfiture to the man and his daughter.

When he reached the domus, Maximus knocked on the door, and a servant came to open, “Yes?”

“I am Maximus Decimus Meridas and I am here to offer a job to the lady Selene.”

“Really?” interjected another male voice, as a fat man with dark eyes and hair sent the servant away and took his place, “And what kind of job it would be?”

“My mother broke a leg few days a go and I need someone to keep her company and help her since she cannot not leave her room.”

“Uhmm, good. And how much would you pay my daughter?”

“Five asses per day, plus food and board. And I can assure you my intentions are totally honest and-”

Arrianus silenced him with a distract gesture of his hand and nodded, “I know who you are and I approve. When you need her to start?”

“But it would not be better to ask her if she would like the job?” asked Maximus.

“She is not home now and there is no reason to ask her. She will be delighted to work for you. I will send Selene to your farm as soon as she returns home from the market.”

“I am here with my chariot, I can wait for her,” offered Maximus.

“That won’t be necessary.”

“As you wish.” The tribune and the merchant shook hands and then the younger man left the domus, the nagging feeling that something was wrong in Arrianus’ behavior tormenting him.

 

*****

 

It was late afternoon when Maximus heard a knock on the door of his house: he stood up and walked to the atrium just as a slave was letting the visitor inside. Even in the dimly lit hall the tribune recognized the attractive figure of Selene and a large smile appeared on his lips.

“Welcome to the farm,” he said only to lose his grin when he saw the girl start, afraid of his rumbling voice. He berated himself for not remembering how intimidating his low, deep-throated tone could be.

To his relief, Selene recovered quickly and offered him a weak smile, “Thank you, domine. My father said you have a job for me.”

“Yes, I have indeed. But why don’t you let your slave inside so he can rest a little before returning home?”

“What slave, sir? I am alone.”

Maximus’ eyes widened as they moved from the girl’s face, to the heavy leather bag at her feet and back their starting point, “You came here from the city all alone? With no one helping you with that bag?”

Selene nodded her head. The tribune swore under his breath. What kind of man was Arrianus to let his daughter travel alone in the almost desert countryside without an escort? Seeing the girl was still waiting, he forced a smile and said, “It’s all right. Did your father tell you the nature of your job?”

“He told me I will have to help the lady of the house, your mother, because she has a broken leg.”

“Exactly.” Maximus clapped his hands and a young maid answered his summons.

“Master?”

“Oh Delia, here you are. This is Selene; please take her to the guest room and help her to get used to our routine.”

“As you wish, master.”

Maximus said, “Go with Delia and settle down in your room. I will meet you again after dinner and we will discuss your tasks, all right?”

“Of course, domine.” Selene smiled shyly and Maximus replied with a grin of his own. He was still smiling when Delia led the other girl away from the room and out of his sight.

 

III

 

In the days that followed, Maximus had more than one occasion to thank the Gods for presenting him with Selene: the young woman was exactly what his mother had needed because she seemed to possess the special gift to help Livia without giving the impression of doing so. The older woman was full of pride and would have surely resented a more intrusive presence in her life, but Selene knew when to offer a hand and when it was better to let her mistress act on her own; when she could speak and when it was better to keep silent, and she received Livia’s praise more then once. Maximus was happy for his mother and for Selene too, because he liked to see her smile. Unfortunately, it was a rare occasion. During her free time the girl seemed to want to stay alone, and more than once Maximus had seen her walk in the fields or sit under the big poplar near the gates, reading a scroll. The maids had told him Selene was very reserved and always sad, making him decide to try to cheer her up because, for reasons he didn’t want to explore, he wished her to be happy. And thus, one day he rode to Trujillo, and returned with Selene’s little black and white dog tucked under his arm, watching happily as the girl had hugged and kissed the animal, before flashing him one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen, an enchanting mixture of happiness and shyness, which made the tribune’s heart skip a beat.

 

*****

 

With her dog’s arrival, Selene’s mood improved but Maximus still felt there was something wrong with her. He remember all too well the gentle and friendly child and young girl he had known during his school days and he thought something very serious must have happened to change her disposition so much. Maximus would have liked to speak with Selene but being it a very private question, he would need to be alone with her, and the girl avoided being alone with him or with anyone of the male members of the household like the plague. It was a puzzling behavior, which he was not able to explain  just by saying she was overly shy, and thus, one evening, Maximus decided to speak with his mother.

 

*****

 

Livia and Maximus were in the library: the woman’s leg was improving and the doctor had given her permission to leave the bed for a couple of hours a day and move around with crutches. She was now sitting on a couch, her leg supported by a low stool, as she watched her son pace back and forth in the room, stroking his beard as he often did when he was worried about something. Knowing he would speak when he was ready, Livia waited with patience, until Maximus broke the silence.

“Mother, do you know if something bad happened to Selene?” he began bluntly, stopping to pace and leaning his back against the bookshelves, his arms crossed over his powerful chest.

“While are you asking?” Livia was surprised by the question, even if she would have not be so, since she had noticed the way her son looked at the young woman.

“I don’t know. She is somehow strange. I remember her at school, she was always so friendly and ready to smile and talk, while now she looks like a skittish mare, who can be scared by a sudden gesture or a word spoken too loudly.” The comparison was a good one, for a man like Maximus who loved horses so much. They were wonderful and graceful creatures, just like Selene.

“Yes, you are right, she changed a lot.” Livia sighed and went on, “Did you ever wonder why the daughter of a wealthy merchant like Arrianus is now working as a lady-in-waiting?”

“Yes, I wondered about it. I thought that the family might have suffered some kind of financial setback.”

“No, the family and the trading company are still going well. It is only Selene who is fallen in disgrace.”

“How?”

“She had been raped, Maximus, four days before her intended marriage with Gneus Albinus iunior.”

“Oh no!” the soldier paled under his tan as his heart constricted in pain for the girl, “Poor Selene.”

“Yes, poor girl indeed,” Livia sighed loudly, “Her world fell apart because of it. As it was his right, her husband-to-be’s father broke the engagement contract, while Arrianus had practically banished her from her own family.”

“Why?” Maximus’ voice was a mere whisper.

“You know how it is, no man wants a tarnished good as wife and Arrianus has no use for a daughter he cannot marry to cement a good alliance with some powerful family, like those of Albinus.” His mother shook her head.

“This is horrible,” he hissed full of anger, “She had been raped and her family, instead of helping her, is treating her like a plagued woman! How can they behave so?”

“Maximus, you know how it works...A woman, even taken against her will, is always tainted by the male...” the old woman’s face flushed red, embarrassed to discuss such intimate details with her son.

“Mother, don’t tell me you believe it!”

“No, my son, I don’t believe it. However the fact remains and the rest of the town thinks like Arrianus and Albinus.”

“At least did they catch the bastard who did it?”

“No. Arrianus did not want an investigation for fear his family name would be tainted.”

Maximus swore under his breath and walked to the window, looking out to the wide expanse of his fields and vineyards. “It is unfair,” he whispered, having somewhat regained the control of his temper, “so totally unfair.”

Lost in thought he did not notice his mother’s concerned glance. Because, even if he was not yet aware of the real depth of his feelings for Selene, his voice and behavior had betrayed him, and Livia could not help but be worried for her son.

 

IV

 

“Rest well, domina,” said Selene, closing softly the door behind her back and walking down the stairs, a slight smile on her face.

The young woman had adapted well to her new life on the farm, and she loved her job. Livia, the lady of the house, was good natured and nice woman, who resented being trapped inside the house but was wise enough not to unleash her frustration on the servants. Selene spent a lot of time with her, helping the older woman to wash and dress, keeping her company as they sewed or chatted, or doing errands in the house, such as retrieving scrolls and other items for her mistress.

In the afternoons, when the domina rested, Selene left the villa to take long walks, enjoying the light and the heat of the still warm September climate. The farm was very peaceful compared to the town and it seemed like a world of its own. All the servants treated her with a respect she had not experienced in months, and she was making friends between the maids and the cooks.

Selene crossed the atrium and stepped out the house, ready for her afternoon walk, but to her surprise she did not see Amor, her dog, running to her. The young woman frowned, a bit worried by her animal’s unusual behavior and began to search the farm to find it.

To her great relief she spotted Amor’s black and white coat almost immediately after leaving the courtyard: the dog was running along one of the fields which surrounded the farm, carrying a stick in its mouth. Selene stopped near the stable, not wanting to distract the beast, but curious to see to whom it was bringing the stick. She soon had her answer as she saw Amor deposit the piece of wood at the feet of a broad shouldered man, who bent down to retrieve it, patting the dog on its head.

Selene watched as Maximus once again threw the stick in the field, admiring the way his muscles moved beneath his simple white tunic, and feeling contrasting emotions shake her heart. She was not blind to her reactions, and she knew she was attracted by the young master of the house. Not only was Maximus a very attractive man but, even more important in her eyes, he was very kind and polite, especially considering he had spent the last ten years in the army. He was always gentle and respectful with everyone, slaves included, and all the servants strived to please him as best as they could. The maids and the cooks had assured her he had never ordered one of them to his bed, as it was common practice, to the great regret of the female members of the household, who would have loved to spend the night in their master’s arms, since they were all in love with him. Selene had listened to their talk with rapt fascination and then had started as one of the girls had told her Maximus was attracted to her.

“Is it really possible?” Selene wondered for the umpteenth time as she watched Maximus play with her dog. True, he was always very courteous with her, enquiring about her well being everyday, and he had even gone to her home to bring her Amor, but he was gentle with every one so she was not sure he was treating her in a special way.... The young woman bit her full lower lip in frustration as her attraction fought with the fear the rape had left in her and which seemed to increase with each passing day, instead of decreasing.

She desperately wanted to reply to Maximus’ friendly gestures, such as the offer to accompany her during her walks or to show her the volumes in his library, but every time she tried to do so, something inside her snapped, and she lost her will, afraid he might somehow misunderstood her behavior and want from her more she was able to give.

Selene sighed and concentrated once again on Maximus and Amor: they had stopped to play and they were resting under the big poplar near the gate. As she watched the soldier scratch her dog’s belly with a tender smile on his face, the young woman felt her heart begin to beat wildly: that was a good occasion to try to leave her lonely prison. They were outside, the farm was full of people, and her dog was there. It was the perfect moment to try to reach out to Maximus. Selene stepped in the gravel-covered roadway and started to walk, at the beginning a bit hesitant and then with more sureness, determined to make a serious effort to conquer her fears.

 

*****

 

Maximus watched Selene approach the poplar and the breath caught in his throat: her beauty slammed against his senses as she walked gracefully, with the wind moving her white tunic, but she was beautiful in a sort of untouchable way. Since the evening his mother had told him what had happened to the young woman, he had wracked his brain to find a way to reach her and make her trust him, but he had failed to do so.

The tribune stood up, stopping to scratch the dog’s belly and Amor threw him an upset look, before seeing his owner and running to her. Maximus watched Selene pick the dog in her arms and when finished covered the brief distance to the poplar.

“Domine,” she said as greeting, as she gave him a fleeting smile.

Maximus felt his heart skip a beat: that was the first time the young woman had spoken to him outside her working hours, not to mention the fact she had just smiled at him.

“Selene, please don’t call me so.”

“You are the master of the house: all the servants call you so.”

“I know, but you are not a servant, not really. I consider you as a friend who is giving a hand to my mother or me.”

“Oh. You consider me your friend?” Selene asked with wonder, as she kept on caressing Amor.

“Yes, of course. And I would love it if you should consider me your friend.” Maximus replied.

“Why?”

“Because I would like to try to help you. I-I like you a lot, Selene, I always have, and it is breaking my heart to see you so alone and so scared.” The tribune could barely believe he had voiced his feelings aloud, but for once his renowned control on his emotions had failed him and he had bared his soul to her.

Selene’s eyes widened at his words, “Do you really mean what you said? That you like me?” her tone was hesitant, as if she could not believe to her ears.

“Yes, of course.”

“Why?” she asked again and Maximus realized with a pang the rape and her family’s reaction had wounded her self-esteem so much she could not believe someone liked her. Oh Selene! He thought. He wanted so badly to hug her and comfort her but he did not dare to move for fear of scaring her away. Instead he said, “Because you are an intelligent, kind, graceful and beautiful young woman.”

“I am not beautiful.... I was robbed of all my beauty...” it was a mere whisper but Maximus heard it nevertheless.

“That’s not true!” he said with vehemence. “Your beauty is safely stored in your heart and nobody can steal it from you!”

Selene almost jumped at his words and Maximus saw how desperately she wanted to believe him.... but she could not. She shook her head, “You would not say so if you knew what happened to me...” she said, lowering her eyes.

“I know what happened to you.” He whispered softly, “My mother told me.”

Selene paled, “You know about it?”

“Yes.”

“And you still said all those things to me?”

Maximus nodded again.

“How could you? I am tainted, ruined for the rest of my life.... I lost my honor...” Selene eyes filled with tears and she hugged her dog so tightly the poor beast whimpered in protest.

“You are not tainted, Selene, you are purer than many maidens,” Maximus moved forward, his eyes burning with conviction and honesty, “And never forget that the honor of a person resides in its mind and heart, not between its legs.”

He saw Selene’s lower lip begin to tremble, as tears overflowed the rims of her eyes.

“Please,” he whispered, reaching out with his hands, palms up, “let me help you.... Trust me...”

Selene watched his outstretched arms for what looked like an eternity, then put Amor down on the ground and, moving slowly, covered the last steps that separated her from Maximus. She took his hand in hers and let him drag her into a fierce embrace. Safely sheltered in his arms, Selene burst into tears, finally releasing months of pain, shame, anguish and loneliness.

 

*****

 

“Tell me what happened.”

Maximus’ voice snapped Selene out of her almost trance-like state: she was lying under the shadow of the big poplar, her head resting on the young tribune’s lap, exhausted by all her weeping. She stiffened at once, wanting to rise to her feet and escape, but Maximus squeezed her hand and whispered, “Shh, it is all right. You don’t have to tell me anything, if you don’t want, but I believe you need to free your soul. This...this thing is eating you from inside like an infection, and you need to open the wound again and let it take air if you want it to heal.”

Selene listened to his words in silence and then relaxed slightly. Intellectually she knew Maximus was right, that she needed to talk, but in her heart she was still afraid he would be appalled to learn what had happened to her and lose his good opinion of her.  And still... “Trust me,” he had told her a short time before and she thought it was the moment to do so. Selene sat up and looked deeply into his blue eyes, seeing how caring, gentle and really interested they were. “Yes, I trust you,” she said to herself before adding aloud, “You are right. I-I will tell you everything.”

Maximus nodded in approval and encouragement.

“Could you - could you hold me while I speak?” the words escaped her lips in a rush and she saw the young man’s eyes light up.

“Of course.” Maximus took her in his arms and, with her head pressed to his chest and his slow heartbeat soothing her nerves, Selene found the strength to re-live her terrible experience.

“It was a late afternoon of July, four days before my scheduled marriage to Gneus Albinus. We were going to have a banquet that evening and my father came in the kitchen telling us - I was seeing that every thing was fine with the food preparation - that there would be ten guests more. We suddenly realized we had not enough bread for ten more persons and so I went out to buy it.”

“You went out alone?” Maximus asked.

“Yes, all the slaves were busy arranging the rooms for the banquet or cooking the food and the bakery is not very far from my home. It was not the first time I did the trip alone, and Amor was with me.” Selene shivered as she prepared to confront the hardest part of her memories but she bravely went on, comforted by Maximus’ soothing caresses on her back.  “I was returning home with the bread, when two figures came from behind a corner of the street wearing long black capes.  They  blocked my path. Before- before I was able to react, one of them covered my mouth with a hand and they dragged me into the garden of a deserted villa.” She paused and swallowed hard. “Amor - Amor tried to defend me and bit one of them on his forearm, but the man beat him with a stick, knocking him out. Then they threw me to the ground and while one of them knelt near my head, blocking my outstretched arms with his knees, the other ripped my clothes and lay over me, crushing me with his weight...and then...” Selene’s voice died as her body began to tremble and new tears spilled from her eyes. Maximus’ arms tightened around her and she heard him swallow loudly. “I- I felt pain... so much pain.. and I was so scared, thinking they were going to kill me...Instead after the man had...finished with me... they left me and ran away.”

“So...only one of them abused you?” whispered Maximus.

“Yes, the one Amor had bitten on the arm. His blood stained the top of my tunic.”

“I see.” There was a strange undertone in Maximus’ voice, but Selene was too tired to analyze it. “Then what happened?”

“After the men went away, I curled up where I was and remained there until darkness began to fall. I-I knew how my father was going to react and I did not want to confront him.... but in the end I stood up and walked back home. I found Amor in the street...he was beginning to regain his senses...” the young woman stopped and took a deep breath, “Since that day my life has been a living hell: my father cannot bear the sight of me, my friends deserted me and my fiancée broke the engagement contract....”

Selene heard Maximus draw a shaky breath and then he asked with an almost hesitant voice, “Did you love him?”

“No. I liked him because I thought he was gentle, but after he knew about the rape he lost no time in disappearing and marrying another girl. He did not even enquire about my health....”

“I am sorry,” he said but she heard relief clear in his voice and that made her stiffen, as the pieces of the mosaic fell in place to create an incredible picture: his interest for her, his gentleness, the maid’s words telling her the master of the house was attracted by her.... was it possible Maximus loved her? Could she, Selene, dare to hope for it?

Slowly the young woman raised her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes, a mute question in her own glance.

Maximus nodded and without breaking their eyes’ contact whispered, “I love you Selene, I believe I began to love you from the first moment I saw you near the channel.”

“Oh.” Selene was stunned. He knew everything about her and still he loved her! It was almost too good to be true. She did not know what to say and the tribune thought her silence meant she was somehow upset by his declaration, so he lowered his eyes and said, “I am sorry. I passed the limit. I did not want to embarrass or distress you. We will never talk about this again.” He tried to free himself from her embrace but this time it was her turn to tighten her arms and not let him move away.

“You misunderstood my reaction, Maximus. I am not embarrassed or distressed. I am merely amazed and...happy. I never dared to hope you might want me after everything that’s happened to me.”

“So you feel something for me too?” the soldier’s eyes were full of hope, and he tensed as he waited for her answer.

“Yes, I feel something for you Maximus, but I am confused, I cannot tell what is it. I like to be near you, I like to talk with you.... and I like to be held by you... But I don’t know if it is love.” She replied with sincerity, the confession coming very easily to her, after all the afternoon’s emotional ups-and-downs.

“I understand.” Maximus smiled and it made him look younger, “But you have all the time you need to discover what is it, don’t you?”
She nodded and he added seriously, “I will not pressure you in any way, I swear it to you.”

“I know, Maximus, I know.” And then she surprised him by taking his hand in hers and kissing it. “I like you so much.” She whispered, her eyes shining with tears of joy.

“I love you,” he replied, his voice hoarse, before dragging her again against his chest and resting his cheek atop her hair.

They stayed so for a long time, as the shadow of the poplar lengthened and the descending sun caressed them with its pink-orange fingers of light.

 

V

 

In the weeks that followed, the relationship between Maximus and Selene blossomed: since Livia’s leg had greatly improved, the young woman had more free time and she spent all of it with the tribune. In the beginning he had made certain they were never left alone, so to reassure her even more about his good intentions, but Selene had insisted it was not necessary: she trusted him.

Livia and the other members of the household watched with delight as the youngsters went out for long walks in the fields, played with Amor, or simply sat under ‘their’ poplar, passing hours talking to each other, their hands intertwined, their heads bent one near the other.

 

As time passed, Maximus’ love acted on Selene’s soul like a salve and softly but surely she began to heal: her confidence returned and the girl with the always lowered eyes gave way to an often smiling young woman, a capable lady who loved the life of the farm and seemed born to be its mistress.

Maximus felt happier than he had ever been, even with Lucilla: he knew Selene was the woman he was destined to marry and, confident of it, he was more than ready to wait for her. Of course he burned with desire for Selene and looked forward to the day he would be able to make love to her, but his physical needs were not so important as her emotional healing and the purity of their courtship - they had done nothing more intimate than holding and kissing hands - instead of frustrating him, it made his senses sharper, more able to savor the little gestures of affection they exchanged. He was thrilled every time Selene laughed in sheer joy and his heart almost burst with happiness the day she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, whispering in his ear, “I love you, Maximus.”

“What?” he stammered.

“I said, I love you Maximus.” She repeated, her eyes shining.

“Will you marry me?” he asked in a rush, holding his breath as there was a possibility she might refuse.

“There is nothing in the world I desire more than become your wife,” she replied, deadly serious.

“Even knowing I will be away for a lot of time, that it might be years before we see each other again after this leave is ended?” Maximus wanted her to be really sure of that step; he did not want her to be disappointed.

“Yes,” Selene said with determination, “I want to be your wife, for the best and the worst.” She knew their life together was not going to be easy, and that be long separations in front of them would be hard to bear, but that was a price she was willing to pay. 

Maximus nodded and suddenly relaxed, letting a broad smile appear on his face, “Oh, darling,” he exclaimed, hugging her to his chest, “I love you so much. I promise you, I will make you so happy, you won’t lack anything, I-”

She stopped the river of words by putting a finger on his lips, “You have already made me the happiest woman in the world: before meeting you, I thought my life was no longer worth living and instead you made me see how wrong I was. You gave me back my self-esteem, making me feel as if I am the most precious thing in the world-”

“And you are for me...” Maximus interrupted her sentence and Selene smiled before lowering her eyes and saying, “-and I want you to know I am ready to do everything you wish.”

Maximus tilted his head on the side, not catching her meaning at first, and then raised her chin with his fingers tips, smiling to her anxious eyes with gentleness, “Your offer is very much appreciated, my love, but you are not yet ready to make love. I told you weeks ago I will wait till the time is right for you and I repeat it now. We are not in hurry and I can sense you are still scared.... I am right, am not I?”

Selene nodded slowly, and a relieved sigh escaped her lips.

“Then it is settled.” His smiled transformed in a grin and taking her delicate hand in his stronger one, he kissed it and said, “Now come, let’s go to give the good news to my mother.”

Selene flashed him an enthusiastic smile as they left ‘their’ poplar to return to the house.

 

VI

 

The next day Maximus rode to Trujillo to visit Arrianus and ask for his daughter’s hand. He had asked Selene if she wanted to come with him, but the young woman had shaken her head and said, “I prefer to stay home. I will face my father again only when I will be again an honorable woman to his eyes.” The joy Maximus had felt upon hearing her call his farm ‘home’ had been erased by the rage he had felt upon hearing her wounded tone as she had spoken of her lost honor. And the feeling did not abate during the ride; it only increased so that, when he reached the merchant house, he was almost fuming. He was furious with the man for not giving Selene the emotional support she had needed and for not making every possible effort to catch the perpetrator of the rape.

“Good morning, Tribune,” greeted Arrianus as Maximus was introduced in the merchant’s tablinium.

“Good morning, Arrianus.”

“What can I do for you? Has my daughter done something wrong?”

All of Maximus’s good intentions to keep his temper under check disappeared at the sound of the other man’s comment and tone.

“Why do you presume Selene did something wrong?” His voice, low and angry, made Arrianus widen his eyes in surprise, “The only one who did something wrong here is you.”

“What?” the merchant did not understand.

“Why do you treat your daughter as if she is responsible for what happened to her? As if she has the plague? Do you know how deeply your behavior is hurting her?”

Arrianus stiffened, “That’s not your concern, it’s only my business.”

“I demand to know why you are denying her the comfort of her family when it was not her fault she was raped?” Maximus went on determinedly.

“It does not matter, the fact remains: she is tainted forever.”  Arrianus continued to look affronted.

“How can you say such a thing of your own daughter? These are old-fashioned morals which have no place in the Empire!”

The older man did not reply and stared at Maximus with a stubborn expression on his face. The tribune sighed and added, “Why at least you did not let the vigiles investigate about the crime?”

“To have the reputation of my family destroyed as all the province becomes aware of my troubles?” Arrianus shook his head.

“So you prefer to leave the author of the rape free to enjoy his life while Selene is cast aside, punished as if SHE is the criminal? What kind of man are you? Where is your honor?” Maximus was growing more and more disgusted.

“It is easy for you to speak of honor, you don’t have two other daughters to marry off!”

“And Selene? What about her?”

The merchant snorted, “Who would be willing to take her? Some plebeian interested only on putting his greedy hands on my money? Oh no, she will have to make her best from her life.” Arrianus smirked and added, “And before you decide to give me another lecture, since you are so interested in Selene, why don’t you take her yourself? As far as I know you are not married, Tribune.” He pronounced the other man’s title as it was an insult, while his voice clearly betrayed his conviction the soldier would say ‘no’.

But of course it was not so. Maximus suddenly remembered the reason of his visit and proudly declared, “Yes, I will take her. That’s why I am here today, to ask you for Selene’s hand.”

“What?” Arrianus squeaked out, taken by surprise, “Do you really mean it?”

“Of course. And more, since you are so concerned about your money, I don’t want an as of dowry. I will give Selene some money of her own. The only thing I want, written down on the engagement contract, is your promise that only I or Selene might break it.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to break the contract if you should suddenly change your mind...”

“It would never happen, but since you insist...” Arrianus picked up a piece of papyrus and began to write in haste, before finally passing the document to Maximus who read and signed it.

A few minutes later the tribune marched out the house, the precious papyrus safely tucked in his pocket.

 

VII

 

Maximus did not return to the farm at once, but went to the city market area to buy a proper engagement ring for Selene. He visited several jewelry shops without finding something interesting and, disappointed, he left the place. He was walking back to retrieve his horse in the public stable when his eyes caught a glimpse of what he was looking for in a little place squeezed between an inn and a bakery. Maximus picked it up, tried it on his little finger and then nodded to the shop-keeper: it was exactly what he needed: it was a gold band decorated with floral themes, and it was simple, sober and solid, just like his love for Selene.

“Do you want me to polish it a bit more, sir?” asked the jeweler as Maximus paid the requested price without discussion, “It would take only ten minutes.”

“Yes, thank you. I will wait in the adjacent inn.”

 

*****

 

Maximus asked for a cup of honeyed wine and sat in a corner of the empty tavern, letting his mind wander on his bride to be, and thinking about what he had to do to organize their marriage: he wanted a public ceremony in the forum of Trujillo, because he wanted everyone to see Selene had lost nothing of her honor. He wanted to do everything in his power to ensure she would be able to walk with her head held high. Maximus sighed, he knew Selene’s moral qualities should have been enough to give her all the respect she deserved, but many people were blind just like her father and would not see and appreciate them if they believed she was ‘tainted’: that was why it was so important to made her once again an honorable woman in front of everyone.

Maximus’ musings were interrupted as two men entered in the inn speaking aloud.

“It is a pleasure to see you again, my friend!” was saying a burly man, slapping the shoulder of his companion.

“The same for me, Camillus! A lot of time is passed since the last time I was in Trujillo, but I kept myself informed about you.”

“Really? And what do you know?” The two men had taken two cups of wine from the counter and went to sit on the other side of the column behind where Maximus sat.

“I know that you have been able to marry your little sister to the son of Gneus Albinus.”

Maximus snapped to full attention as he heard the name of Selene’s former fiancée.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“You have been very lucky Arrianus’ daughter was raped or now else you would be here crying because of a lost opportunity to form a commercial alliance with Albinus....”

The man called Camillus snorted, “Lucky my friend? Fortune is a lazy goddess, she needs to be..... helped.”

“What do you mean?” asked his companion, as Maximus silently formulated the same question.

Camillus dropped his voice, “Let’s say I knew a moralist like Albinus would never want to mingle the precious name of his family with one who had been tainted.....”

“Are you telling me you did it?”

“I did what I had to do to avoid an alliance between my rival Arrianus and Albinus. It was very easy and almost risk-free. My brother helped me...”

“By the gods, you are a cunning snake!” Camillus companion exclaimed, “Let’s cheer to your cleverness.”

As the men laughed aloud, Maximus dropped his cup on the table, as he fought against nausea. Had he heard it right? Was the man sitting behind him the one who had raped Selene? Rising on unsteady legs, the tribune circled around the column and walked slowly to the other table, dropping on his knee and feigning to tie the laces of one of his boots. The two other men were surprised to see him, but since he was able to keep his emotions under control and don’t show the rage and disgust boiling inside him, they did not spare the tribune a second glance, returning to their drinks. Maximus spied Camillus from his kneeling position and felt his blood leave his face as his eyes saw four strange little scars on the man’s forearm, the marks left by Amor’s teeth as the poor beast had tried to defend his owner. So it was really true....

Maximus stood up and walked to the counter to pay his bill, then went outside to breathe the fresh autumn air and clear his mind. His soul was clamoring for him to grab Camillus and drag him to the vigiles’ head quarters, but he knew he could not do so: he had not the right to demand a trial, only Arrianus had it. That, of course, until he and Selene married and her patria potestas passed to him. He would have to wait. Maximus took a deep breath and went to retrieve the ring, wondering inwardly how he was going to tell his beloved what he had just discovered.

 

*****

 

Selene was waiting for Maximus, pacing in the courtyard, her hands torturing her tunic. He had been gone for a long time and she was afraid something was wrong, that her father had not agreed to their marriage. The young woman was sure she would not survive if she were denied to wed Maximus: he had become her reason to live and she could not bear the idea not to become his wife. The gods seemed to take pity on her because Maximus’ black stallion appeared from behind the hill, galloping along the roadway which led to the farm.

Selene left the courtyard and went to meet her beloved near the stable, watching with anxious eyes as he dismounted and threw the reins to the waiting groom. Without speaking a word Maximus stretched out a hand, which the young woman eagerly took, and led her to ‘their’ poplar. Selene continued to stare at his face as they walked: his expression was unreadable and her tension increased to such level that, by the time they reached the tree, she burst out, “Please Maximus, tell me what my father said! This wait is killing me.”

The tribune finally smiled and taking out a ring from his pocket, he put it on her finger. “He said yes.”

“Thank you gods!” Selene exclaimed with joy, throwing her arms around his neck. They embraced for a long time and then Selene stepped back and admired her engagement ring. She raised her head to tell Maximus it was wonderful but her words died on her lips as she saw his deadly serious expression.

“What is it?” she asked worried by his reaction.

Maximus stroked his beard and murmured, “I think I discovered who it was who raped you.”

“What?” Selene’s voice was a mere whisper.

“I went to a tavern to wait for the jeweler to polish the ring; while I was where two men came inside and sat near my table. I was hidden by a column so, thinking they there alone they started to talk. I began to listen to them when I heard them mention Gneus Albinus’ name. One of the men was congratulating the other, a burly man called Camillus, for marrying his sister to Albinus’ son.” Maximus paused and Selene nodded, encouraging him to go on and he did so, “The other man said Camillus had been lucky Arrianus’ daughter - you - had been raped, leaving free space for his friend’s sister, and Camillus said it had not be a lucky case.... He said he knew Albinus would have broken the engagement contract as soon as he knew about the rape, and he.... he admitted to committing it himself.”

Selene heart began to race, “Are you sure he said that?”

“Yes...and more, I looked him and I saw his forearm is scarred by four little marks...”

“The wounds Amor inflicted him!”

Maximus nodded before adding, “Camillus plotted everything so that your father would not became a business partner with Albinus.” His tone was full of loathing.

Selene took a deep breath as everything fell in place but instead of the rage she had fully expected she felt only relief: she now knew why it had happened and that put her heart at rest. Now, perhaps, she would be able to forget...

“I will make him pay,” Maximus’ hiss snapped her back to the present and she met her fiancée’s furious eyes, “As soon as we are married, I will drag him in court and have him sentenced to exile.”

“No.”
 The world, spoken so loud and clear made Maximus’ eyes widen. “What did you say?”

“I said no. You won’t do such a thing.”

“Why?” his voice was shocked.

“Because I don’t want revenge - ”

“ It would be justice...”

“- I only want to forget. And I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“What trouble?” Maximus frowned.

“Camillus is a very powerful man, he has enough money to corrupt everyone and his uncle his the governor of Lusitania.” Selene shook her head with decision, “No, I won’t let you endanger your career for something which turned out to be a blessing.”

“What?” Maximus was stunned; he could not believe his ears.

“I am not mad, darling. I just realized had the rape not happened, I would be now married to a man who considered me nothing more than a broodmare, and I would never known true love with you.” Her eyes shone with determination, “We are together Maximus, and it is everything that matters to me.”
“But...” the tribune was still unconvinced but Selene silenced his protests by kissing him squarely on the lips. Maximus was surprised by her action, but recovered quickly, responding to her, first with gentleness then with more ardor, utterly delighted when she opened her mouth to admit his tongue without any hesitation, her passion matching his own. It was their first real kiss and they made it last for a very long time.

 

VIIII

 

“Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia,” Selene said, her voice broken by emotion and Maximus squeezed her hand to reassure her, or perhaps to calm his own galloping heart.

The tribune faced the priest, proudly declared his vows, “Ubi tu Gaia, ego Gaius,” and then, together with Selene, moved forward to eat a little piece of the cake the pontifex had just offered to Jupiter.

That ritual concluded the ceremony and, after Maximus had signed the marriage contract, the bride and the groom turned to face each other, the joy they felt mirrored in each other’s eyes: they were married, nobody ever would tear them apart.

The soldier leant forward to give her a chaste kiss on her cheek and then they turned around to face the guests, mainly members of the gens Decima came from all over the province. Maximus had wanted to give Selene a great marriage ceremony and the warm response of his family had made possible for him to do so because, if he hoped in some collaboration by his father-in-law, he would have been completely disappointed: the man was there because he had to sign the marriage contract, but he was alone, he had not even brought Selene’s sisters and brother.

The newly weds and their guests left the temple and were stepping down the marble stairs to reach their chariots and horses and transfer to the farm for the banquet, when a great commotion coming from the right wing of the decumanus maximus attracted their attention. A group of riders was proceeding along the street and Maximus frowned as his expert eyes recognized the black uniforms of the Praetorians, the imperial family bodyguards. What were the soldiers doing there? Were they escorting someone? The silence fell on the assembly as all the eyes watched in awe as the riders stopped and a distinguished man wearing a purple toga advanced on foot to the temple. Maximus’ eyes widened in stunned surprise and he dropped to his knee, imitated at once by Selene and the guests.

“Rise, rise,” commanded Marcus Aurelius as he walked up the marble steps and stopped in front of the tribune.

Maximus obeyed and stood up: his bright blue-green eyes met Caesar’s paler ones and he smiled upon seeing the joy written on the older man’s face. “Caesar,” he said in greeting.

“Maximus. I see you finally listened to my advice to find a good girl and settle down.” Marcus Aurelius’ voice was happy and full of good natured humor, “Would you introduce me to your lovely bride?”

“Oh, of course Caesar.” Maximus stammered, recovering his wits. Then he squeezed Selene’s hand and proudly said, “Sir, this is Selene Arriana Corvina Merida, my wife.”

Marcus Aurelius’ eyes swept over the young woman, taking in how beautiful and dignified she looked in her simple white flannel tunic and red flamine, and said, “I am honored to meet you, lady Maxima.”

Selene smiled shyly to the gentle looking man in front of her, barely believing the Emperor of Rome had just said her HE was honored to meet HER. “Caesar, I have no words to tell you what your presence here means to me.”

“Oh child, you are flattering this old man beyond repair.” Marcus Aurelius smiled and then looked at Maximus, seeming to read the question buzzing in his mind, “I am traveling to the province of Lusitania because there has been a sort of revolt: the citizens want to drag the governor into court because of his corruption and sent a petition to me to attend the trial. Since it was some time since I’d inspected the legions settled in Spain I decided to agree to their request. I arrived two days ago in the harbor of Malaca and, remembering your home is in this area, I decided to make a visit to you. Imagine my surprise when your servants told me you were getting married in that very moment!”

Maximus nodded, “I see. Well Caesar, I hope you will grant me the honor to be guest at the banquet.”

“Of course, my boy. There was such a wonderful smell in your house...” the older man winked and the proceeded Maximus, Selene and the rest of the company down the steps of the temple.

 

*****

 

It was late evening: the banquet had ended, and the guests had left the farm or retreated in their rooms. Maximus was touring the house, checking all the doors were closed, a cup of warm wine in his hand. Soon his mother would appear and tell him to join Selene in their bedroom...The mere thought of sharing a bed with his wife made the his blood rush, but he willed himself to stay calm and in control and not get too excited, because there was no way to know what would happen between him and his bride that night. Maximus knew Selene desired him, he felt every time they kissed and caressed, but he also knew she was still afraid, her fear having paralyzed her on many occasions.

“Damn you, Camillus,” the tribune hissed in the empty hall and his lips set in a hard line, “But don’t believe this is going to be left unpunished.... Soon you will pay the price of your sins.” A cruel smile appeared on his face as Maximus remembered the conversation he had with Marcus Aurelius just before the emperor had left: they had briefly talked about the situation in Germania, which was very quiet at the moment, enabling Maximus to lengthen his leave, and then the young man had turned to his emperor and friend for advice regarding Camillus. Marcus Aurelius had been first devastated to know the lovely girl he had just met had been so terribly wronged, and then furious, when he had heard the reason for the rape, promising Maximus he would take care of Camillus personally. The man’s uncle was the very same governor Caesar was going to judge and he assured the tribune all the evidences were against him: he had little doubt he was going to be condemned and his possessions confiscated by the Empire, and Marcus Aurelius would see his nephew too would lose his riches, as the sentence for rape declared.

“Selene is ready,” Livia’s soft voice said and Maximus immediately forgot his vengeful thoughts to concentrate on more pleasant ones.

“How is she?” he asked to his mother.

“Very nervous. She knows you will be gentle, but still...” the woman shook her head and Maximus bit his lower lip but did not reply.

“Good night, my son,” Livia said, kissing his cheek and the legate embraced her.

“Good night, mother.”

Maximus watched till she had reached her room and then went to his own chamber...and to his waiting bride.

 

*****

 

Selene’s head snapped up as she heard the door of the bedroom open and she instinctively raised the sheets to cover herself better: she was wearing a finely woven linen tunic, but she still felt naked. She waited with breathless anticipation as she listened to the noises Maximus was making in the antechamber as he freed himself of his dress uniform. And then, sooner than she had expected, he appeared on the threshold.

She stared at him and a sigh of relief escaped her lips as she saw he was wearing a nightshirt just like her own. Selene then looked at his face and noticed the gentle, soft look on his ruggedly handsome features and relaxed a bit.

“My wife,” Maximus whispered, before crossing the room and sitting near her on the bed.

“My husband,” she replied, savoring the sound of the words. Maximus slipped his arms around her and kissed her with gentleness. Selene responded to him with enthusiasm and the kiss turned very passionate. Maximus’ hands began to caress her back, sliding up and down, and then, after some moments, to lightly brush her breasts. The young woman’s reaction was immediate, but it was not what Maximus had hoped for: she stiffened and her teeth almost bit his tongue as she closed her mouth. Maximus’ arms tightened around her, as he whispered soothingly to her, trying to calm her down, wanting to hold her still while he proceeded to show her there was nothing to be afraid of. However, after few minutes he realized it was not going to work because Selene, far from relaxing, seemed on the verge of panicking as she began to resist his embrace. He took a deep breath, caressed her cheek with his fingertips and then released her. They looked at each other for a long time, their eyes wide, even if it was for different reasons. In the end Maximus smiled and asked, “How is the mattress? Is it comfortable enough?”

“I- it is perfect,” she answered, surprised by his question.

“Good, I want you to enjoy a restful night, today was very tiring.”

And speaking thus, Maximus lifted the cover, slipped between the sheets, and lay down at her side.

Selene watched him, her eyes wide. “Rest? But- but...we should...should not we?” she flushed red with embarrassment, confused by his sudden change of mood.

Her husband turned on his side and supporting his head with his elbow said, “Answer me with sincerity, Selene: do you want to make love tonight? Do you think you are ready?”

The young woman pursed her lips: a part of her wanted to shout “yes” with all off her strength, while another was so relieved he did not seem set on claiming his marital rights that night. The silence stretched as she tried to conquer her contrasting emotions, but it was Maximus who spoke in the end. “I think you have just replied to my question. You are not yet sure, darling, are you?”

She nodded with her head, her throat too tight to speak.

“I surmised it by your reaction few moments ago and I don’t want to force you.” he sighed and added, “Listen, this is what I would like to do: we will only sleep together this night, and learn how it feels to rest with someone near....”

Selene started to nod when a frightening thought flashed in her mind, “Are you telling me the truth? Or are you thinking my body is tainted?” Her eyes widened, as she realized what she had just said. “I am sorry, Maximus ..I ..”

He silenced her with a finger on her lips and then took her wrist and led her hand to his lap, making her feel how excited he was by her presence. As Selene’s face flushed red he murmured in a hoarse whisper, “I believe this answers your question.” She nodded quickly. “Good, now let’s sleep.” He released her hand, blow the lamp off, and lay down again on the mattress.

“Good night,” Maximus whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

“Good night.”

Silence fell in the room and Selene closed her eyes, trying to get relax enough to sleep, but it was useless, she was still too tense.

“Selene?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like me to hold you?”

“Very much,” she said and in the darkened room she could not see the happy smile appeared on Maximus’ face at her eager tone. Her husband moved in the bed and Selene found herself wrapped in his arms, her head resting on his chest, the sound of his heart echoing in her ear. She hugged her husband back, closing her eyes, ready to fall asleep, but one of her hands seemed to be of a different opinion: she began to move it up and down Maximus’ side and waist. The tribune let her do as she wished, until her hand dipped down along his abdomen and brushed his bare skin where his shirt had rolled up with his movements. Maximus’ reaction to the tantalizing caress was a tightening of his embrace, a sharp intake of breath and an acceleration of his heartbeat and Selene’s hand retreated quickly as fear and excitement ran along her spine, fighting to take control of her body. Fear won again, and her caresses ceased, as she breathlessly waited for his next move. Gradually Maximus’ arms loosened their grip and his heart calmed down, lulling Selene to sleep with its soothing rhythm, as her husband pondered for how much longer he would have been able to check his reactions. He wanted his wife as he had never wanted another woman and it was a torture to lie near her and do nothing. Mere moments before, for just a second,  he had thought about making her accept his advances, to act and push away her fears instead of waiting for her to conquer them on her own. However he had then remembered her stricken look the first time they had met near the channel and she had shouted at him not to touch her. Selene had made so much progress in just a few weeks and he could not risk ruining everything by being too ardent. He had to be patient, even if it required him to use all of his discipline and iron control. Maximus sighed and then closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep despite his agitated mood, as he often did before the battles.

 

IX

 

The next day when she awoke, Selene found Maximus already up, dressed and sitting on the bed near her. She looked at him shyly and he smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her slowly and thoroughly, “Good morning my love,” he whispered, his lips few inches away from hers, “how did you sleep?”

“Very well,” she answered, pulling his mouth against her for another long kiss.

When Maximus straightened up they were both breathing heavily. “Are you hungry? You can eat your breakfast here in bed.” he asked after clearing his throat.

“It is not necessary, I am not hungry now,” Selene shook her head, her eyes never leaving his.

“Good,” Maximus smiled, “Dress quickly, then, we are going out for a ride and a picnic.”

“A picnic?” Selene repeated in an excited tone, before throwing the covers away, jumping to her feet and running to the antechamber, all the while followed by her husband’s amused laugh at her enthusiastic reaction.

 

*****

 

Half an hour later Maximus and Selene left the house, both on them riding the tribune’s stallion, the woman sitting in front of her husband, surrounded by his powerful arms. They crossed a chestnut tree forest and then went down a slight slope till they reached a small lake with clear, transparent waters. They dismounted and, as Maximus tied the beast to a tree, Selene spread out the blanket and put out the contents of the basket full of food they had brought with them.

“Do you like it here?” Maximus asked his bride, wrapping her in his arms from behind.

“It is lovely.” She said, caressing his hands. It was true: the landscape was different from the farm; there were no hills beyond the lake, but only a flat terrain covered by little bushes and grass. It seemed like a different country. Maximus took Selene by the hand and together they walked down to the lakeshore where he bent down and dipped his fingers in the water. “It is too cold to bathe, but not to splash in it with our feet,” he commented with a boyish grin, removing his sandals. Selene shook her head amused, touched by the fact such a battle-hardened soldier could be so playful, and then followed his example. They walked in the water, circling part of the lake, until they reached a large flat grass-covered rock and sat down, their feet still splashing into the water.

Maximus put an arm around her back and said, “Now we have only to wait.”

“Wait? For what?” Selene was curious.

“It is a surprise.” He smiled and pulled her head to rest on his shoulder and his wife was more than happy to follow his lead.

As they waited for the ‘surprise’ Maximus murmured, “This has always been my special place when I was a child and a boy. Every time I needed to be alone I came here.”

“It is truly beautiful, so peaceful.” Selene’s tone was dreamy, she felt so relaxed with his warm shoulder under her cheek and the soothing sounds on the water all around her.

“Look! They are coming!” Maximus’ excited voice broke the spell and his wife straightened, her eyes widening when she saw the ‘surprise’: a small herd of wild ponies was trotting in the direction of the lake. The animals were of different colors and ages and their leader was a golden-chestnut stallion with an almost blond mane. He was truly magnificent and Selene admired how his coat reflected the sun beams as if it was made of real gold.

The couple did not move as the stallion sniffed the air in search of possible danger and then let the mares and the foals drink. “I call him Sunshine,” Maximus whispered in Selene’s ear, “I first saw him as a small foal, he was born the year before I left for the army.”

The young woman nodded, watching the tender way the mares took care of their foals, encouraging them to drink, but being careful they did not go too far into the water: soon, perhaps, she too would have a son or a daughter to care for.....The thought made her look in Maximus’ direction and she noticed that instead of watching the ponies, he was staring at the water. No, she realized with a thrill, at her bare legs. His gaze was so focused and so hot, she seemed to feel it warm her skin.  Selene looked at his hungry eyes for a second and felt a jolt of desire run along her spine.  “Do it.” She murmured, as her heart began to beat wildly.

“What?” Maximus shook his head, not understanding.

“I said do it....touch my legs.” She flushed red upon hearing her own request.

“Are you sure?” his eyes shone with hope.

“Yes, go on, I want to feel your hands on me.” And to facilitate his task, Selene slid back on the grass, pulling her feet out of the water, till she sat on the ground with her legs stretched out in front of her.

Maximus did not need a second urging and, as his eyes devoured her olive skin, his fingertips began to move gently from her ankles to her knees and back again, caressing, stroking and patting, all the while enjoying the contrast between his rough hands and her softness. After a while Maximus began to caress up her knees, his calluses fingertips sliding oh-so-slowly under Selene’s tunic, reaching higher and higher along her thighs. The soldier’s heart was pounding in his chest, as he fought to keep a tight control over his body. He wanted so badly to make love with Selene, but he knew he had to keep on moving slowly and gently, as if he was doing now as his hands slipped between her legs and...

Selene stiffed at once as Maximus tried to spread her thighs a little bit and, as the night before, she felt fear assault her. But this time it was different: this time she was determined not to let it win. And before she could change her mind, Selene stood up, catching Maximus by surprise. By the time he had scrambled to his feet, already berating himself for having been too aggressive, Selene had reached down and pulled her tunic up and over her head, dropping it on the ground.  She stood before him naked, save the little scrap of linen around her loins. Maximus was stunned but looking into her eyes he saw the new, determined light in them and understood his wife had decided to conquer her fear once and for all.
He smiled to her in approval and then he too removed his tunic, standing still in front of her, as her black eyes took him in: his powerful shoulders, his broad chest, the light dusting of hair which narrowed at his waist and then trailed down and disappeared under his loincloth, which strained over his erect manhood, the bronzed skin which glowed under the sun. He too used that time to observe her body and love her with his eyes. She was so beautiful, with her lush breasts, still held in a bandeau, tapered waist and softly flared hips.

Finally Maximus covered the few feet separating then and pulled Selene into his arms, “You are more beautiful than Venus,” he whispered before taking her mouth for a passionate kiss.
His wife’s arms slipped around him and began to caress his back, enjoying the feel of his skin, like silk over marble. Maximus continued to kiss her until her knees buckled and he helped her to lie down on the soft grass. He moved atop of her, careful not to crush her with his body, lest he remind her of Camillus and the rape, but to his delight she pulled at his shoulders, welcoming his weight. Once again he stayed still for some minutes, giving Selene the time to adapt to the situation, and then he began to kiss and caress her body, starting from her face, down to her neck, till he reached her breasts. He raised his head to look at his wife and a rush of desire ran along his body as he saw the lust in her eyes while she waited breathlessly for his next action. He did lost no time and with a quick move he freed her breasts from their bindings, cupping them in his palms, playing with her nipples and grinning with triumph as Selene closed her eyes and lolled back her head, her fingernails scratching his back, as a little moan escaped her lips.

Maximus' mouth followed the path of his hands, lapping, sucking and biting at her breasts and causing his wife to thrash under him with pleasure.

Selene was overwhelmed by the sensations which flowed through her body, as if every nerve was on fire. As his body insistently pressed against hers, she could feel the hardness of his erection straining against his loincloth but it did not cause her to tense or panic as it would have surely happened only few days before. Instead, it made her want to free him from his confinement. With a boldness Selene did not believe she possessed, her hands moved down his back, caressing his taut muscles, till they reached the linen shrouding his loins. He was so lost feasting on her breasts that he did not notice her moves until he felt her fingers slip beneath the cloth and tentatively caress his most intimate parts, as if she was trying to gain confidence with the ‘tool’ of her disgrace. Maximus moaned with delight at the pleasure her tentative and inexperienced touches stirred in him and his stunned eyes fled to meet his wife’s. Selene looked at him steadily and whispered, her voice thick with desire, “Take me Maximus, I am ready. I don’t want to wait anymore.” And to emphasize her point, she tugged at his loincloth and tore it away.

The soldier nodded, his iron control almost stretched to its limit by his wife’s totally unexpected - but very welcome - behavior, and he lowered his hand to her waist to eliminate the last existing barrier between them. His finger slipped gently between her thighs to test her readiness and she spread her legs eagerly, making him slide into position. Maximus took hold of his arousal, ready to guide himself inside her, but before moving he looked at her eyes once again.

“Do it,” she encouraged again and he obeyed, entering her slowly and carefully.

Selene’s breath caught in her throat as she felt Maximus move inside her: the pleasure he was giving to her was as sharp as the pain had been and she lost herself in it, closing her eyes and abandoning herself to instinct, moving her body at the rhythm of the primal dance, as her husband began thrusting deeper and faster, moans and groans punctuating his every move. Selene grabbed his backside, urging him even deeper as the tension inside her reached the breaking point and then cried out with joy as ecstasy invaded her, barely aware of Maximus’ hoarse cry when he joined her in release few seconds later.

 

*****

 

Maximus’ eyes opened and he blinked as he slowly became aware again of the world surrounding him: the cool breeze caressing his back, the grass tickling his legs, and the softness of his wife’s breasts cushioning his head. 

His wife. 

Selene!

The tribune’s head snapped up to look at her and his heart twisted in his chest when he saw the tears streaming down from her tightly shut eyes. Overwhelmed by anguish he took her face between his hands and murmured, “Why are you crying, darling? Please Selene, don’t tell me I hurt you...please.”

“Shh..” Selene’s fingertips found his lips, silencing him. “It’s all right Maximus... everything is all right once more...”

“What?” he whispered, not understanding, and slipped his arms around her shoulders to tighten their embrace.

Selene finally opened her eyes which very still shining and said, “These are tears of joy, my love, tears of joy.” She smiled at his still concerned expression, kissed him loudly on the lips and added, “I never thought it would be so beautiful... so pleasurable.” She flushed red as her smile widened.

Maximus felt a broad grin slowly appear on his lips and, he lowered his head till their noses almost touched and whispered, “My beloved wife, that’s was only the beginning....with time and practice it will become even better.”

“Really?”

“Yes, there are many things you need to learn.” he said, his eyes full of mirth.

“And will you teach me them?” Selene commented with a very interested tone.

“Of course, it will be my pleasure.” They both laughed aloud and then Maximus’ eyes widened as her hands squeezed his buttocks.

“My husband, would you like to begin my first lesson now?” Selene asked him, her demurely lowered eyes contrasting strongly with the bold movements of her hands.

Maximus shook his head amused and then replied, “I am at your service, my wife.”

And speaking thus he bent his head to capture her lips for the first of many more passionate kisses....

 

Epilogue - Rome, 182 AD

 

The sun, slowly disappearing behind the hills, cast its pink-yellow-orange beams on the city’s buildings, coloring the marble temples and basilicas and making the Colossus, the giant golden statue of Apollo near the Flavian amphitheater, shine as if it was a small star. The atmosphere in the Urbe was peaceful, serene, almost magic, but Maximus Decimus Meridas did not notice it: his eyes were on the woman leaning against the balustrade of the terrace, her face upturned to catch the last warm beams, her long , wavy dark hair, streaked with blue-red reflections. He felt his heart swell with love as he realized he would never tire of admiring his wife’s form, because more the years passed, the more she seemed to become beautiful to his eyes. Moving silently, the Protector of Rome crossed the terrace and embraced her from behind, kissing her on the delicate skin behind her ear.

Selene open her eyes and put her hands over his, saying in a mock-reproachful tone, “Careful, my husband might see us.”

Maximus laughted and turned her and whispered, “I will take the risk,” before kissing her slowly and deeply as she slipped her arms around his neck.

“Good evening,” she murmured as they finally broke the kiss.

“Good evening to you. What were you thinking of? You seemed miles away.”

“I was miles and years away,” Selene replied cryptically, before adding with a smile, “I was thinking about a picnic of many years ago... they will be eleven tomorrow.”

Maximus smiled and said, “I remember it too, very well.” Then he returned serious, “I am sorry for not having been here all the day, but this morning the news arrived that Commodus had killed himself on the island where he had been confined after he tried to murder his father, and I spent the day organizing the details for his funeral and...”
“Shh,” the woman silenced him with a finger on his lips, “I know, Lucilla told me. You don’t have to apologize. I know you have so many responsibilities.”

“That’s true, but I hoped we would have been able to spend together our anniversary. We have already lost so many of them...”

Maximus shook his head but Selene simply smiled, “Darling, we have always been together: you have always been here, near my heart, it does not matter where your body was, as I have always been there.” And she touched his chest, as she stared into his eyes, transmitting him all of her love.

Her husband blinked away few tears and nodded with conviction, “You are absolutely right: we have always been together. But I want to promise you something: next year we will spend this day in Hispania and we will have another picnic near the lake.”

“It will be wonderful.” Selene grinned and then her tone become sultry, “But now I think it is time to celebrate this anniversary.” She rose on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “Lucilla is taking care of our son and I ordered the servants to not disturb us for any reason; the bedcovers are already turned down and a warm bath is awaiting us...”

Maximus shivered as a jolt of desire coursed through him, “My wife, I see you thought about everything and I certainly don’t want to ruin all of your efforts...” speaking thus he bent down and swept Selene into his arms, “From where do you suggest we begin?” he asked, as he crossed the terrace to their bedroom.

Selene laughed at his more than eager tone and said, “Well, my husband, I think we should....”

The rest of her answer was silenced by Maximus slamming the door shut with a kick, closing Rome and the rest of the world outside... at least for the that night.

 

The End.

 

PS My promise concerning Maximus is a known fact, but this time I added the epilogue because I could not bear to see Selene meet such a terrible end. She had suffered enough, and just like Maximus, she deserved to be happy.