Love and Duty

 

 

 

 

 

Quintus walked up the stairs quickly and then stopped in front ofthe nursery door. He took a deep breath and then pushed it open. Aelia was on the bed, her back turned to the door. She seemed not to hear him and Quintus walked near her. She was sleeping, an old doll pressed to her chest. Quintus felt love and tenderness surge inside himself. He would have liked to let her sleep, to admire her beautiful, peaceful and relaxed features but he had few time. He was still in punishment and could not be away from the camp for long. So he gently shook her awake.

Aelia's eyes opened and slowly focused on his face. She blinked a couple of time, probably afraid he was only a vision and then widening them as he bent down to kiss her forehead.

"My love," he whispered.

"Quintus!" she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in a crushing kiss, a kiss born from love and desperation. After some moments however she let him go and murmured, "How did the trial go?"

"As predicted. My rank of legate was stripped and I have been put on a month's leave without pay plus fifteen days of confinment, counting the last ten days as time served."

"I am so sorry...for causing so many problems...."

Quintus shook his head, "No, there is no need to feel that way. I have enough money put away to survive without pay and as fas as the promotion is concerned, I am still young, I have all the time in the world to became a legate."

Aelia smiled faintly and then was silent. They looked at each other, both dreading the question which they know she would ask. In the end Aelia could not resist anymore, "And how was the wedding?" she murmured.

"There was no wedding, my dear." Quintus told her softly.

Aelia jumped to sit in the bed, "What?" she said, a flick of hope lightening her lovely eyes.

Quintus smiled bitterly, sorry he had to kill her hopes---his hopes---so soon. "It has only been postponed. You know what happened yesterday" -- Aelia nodded, how she could forget it? --"My father is not very pleased by Fulvia's behaviour...He wants to wait to see if the emperor will forgive her or not. He does not want to be burdened with a daughter-in-law whom might damage our family's polical status instead of improving it."

Aelia nodded and smiled happily ...It does not matter that their happiness might be very short, it only mattered that in that moment, in that room they WERE happy. Quintus hugged her again and they spent many minutes simply savoring their closeness and listening to their heartbeats.

Sometime later they heard heavy footsteps along the hallway and then a light knock on the door.

"Aelia, Quintus?" It was Maximus' voice, "We are ready to start the funeral. If you would come down..."

Their friend's words returned them abruptly to the reality and Aelia felt ashamed for being so happy when her beloved uncle lay dead.

"We are coming." she replied.

"All right." Maximus returned down stair and Aelia stood up from the bed, smoothing her dress and quickly combing her hair. Then she took Quintus' hand and led him away from the room.

 

*****

 

The funeral ceremony was brief and heartbreaking. It was followed by dinner and  by the public reading of  Paolinus' will. The document was simple: all of Paulinus' children were considered co-heirs of his fortune and he had also left some money for Aelia. Without much discussion -- since the family was very close and there were no rivalries among its members -- it was decided that Paolina would remain in the house for as long as she and Maximus wanted while the farm administration would be in the care of her brothers. After that all the the guest brothers returned to their homes with their families, receiving assurances that Maximus would take care of Paolina and Aelia.

When the last of the brothers had departed Quintus took Maximus by the elbow and said, "I must return. My father is expecting me and I am still confined as you know."

Maximus nodded, "Don't worry about Aelia: Caesar and General Claudius have given me permission to stay here all  night and so I will keep an eye on her. Go now."

"Thank you my friend." Quintus went to Aelia to say good bye. He hugged her briefly and then stepped back: he would have liked to do more but his father --who had arrived just after the funeral as Marcus Aurelius' representative -- was waiting for him in the porch and Quintus could almost feel his eyes burning holes in his back.

"We will meet again," he whispered to Aelia before taking his leave.

 

*****

 

The next morning Maximus returned to the camp and the cousins begin the work of cleaning the kitchen, the triclinium and the perystilium from the funeral banquet leftovers and to tidy the bedrooms that had hosted the family. The task busied them for all the morning and part of the afternoon. After that they made dinner. So, it was not surprising that when Maximus arrived in the late afternoon, he found his wife and  her cousin sound asleep in their respective rooms. He simply smiled and discarding his boots and armor, joined Paolina for a little nap, feeling very content as his wife, without waking up, turned in the bed and sought refuge in his arms. He hugged her small frame tightly and slowly caressed her back. Feeling very at peace with the world and himself he closed his eyes and slept.

 

29

 

The following day Paolina and Aelia joined Maximus back in the camp. Marcus Aurelius had taken a liking for both the girls and, wanting to cheer them up and distract them from their grief, had asked Maximus what kind of entertainment he could organize for them. After Maximus had informed him both his wife and sister-in-law were skilled riders the emperor beamed, deciding to organize a horse back trip to a nearby lake. The Gods seemed to approve of this decision granting them a wonderful, sunny day. Both Paolina and Aelia liked the prospect of a ride but they lost some of their enthusiasm when they learned that Lucilla and Fulvia would join them, along with Senator Clarus and General Claudius. Quintus had to stay behind, because of  his punishment and because of the fact that no one felt it was a good idea to have him near to Aelia- not in front of his father and intended bride at least. A group of twenty preatorian guards completed the riders.

The party left the camp and trotted at a leisurely pace in the direction of the lake as Maximus and Paolina took the roles of guides, illustrating to the emperor and Senator Clarus, (who followed just behind them), the various types of tree and flowers that they were seeing as they followed the grass covered path. Behind the monarch and the senator were Lucilla and Fulvia and in the back were Aelia and General Claudius.

The old soldier continued to rest his gaze on the young woman beside him...on his newly discovered granddaughter. How he longed to tell her who he was! But he was not able to find the right words to express his feelings. He had never been good at making emotional speeches and he had yet to recover by the shock of his sudden discovery.

 

*****

 

Finally the party arrived to the lake and while Maximus and the general took care of the horses Paolina and Aelia spread the blankets on the grass for the picnic. After a while all the group sat down and began to eat the food the camp cooks had prepared for them. The conversation flow easily among the partecipants and almost everyone had a good time as Marcus Aurelius, in a very light mood began to tell his memories of the first time he had visited Gaul. Fulvia was the notably exception. The spoiled girl was furious with Aelia because she felt treatened by her. Senator Titus had postponed her marriage with his son and even if she could not care less about Quintus, she could not accept the fact the senator seemed to favor that little provincial simpleton above her. Instead of trying to restore her reputation by showing courtesy to the others and joining them in their conversations, Fulvia spent her time staying silent and brooding, thinking how she could have her vengeance. The occasion presented by itself when the two cousins decided to leave the men to search for some flowers and politely asked to Lucilla and Fulvia to join them. Lucilla refused, as predicted, but Fulvia surprised everyone by agreeding to go.

The three girls walked away and started their search. Fulvia began to pick up some flowers here and there, waiting for then to be far enough from the men to put her plan in action. When they reached the border of the forest Fulvia approached Aelia and falling in step beside her began to speak.

"Aelia, first of all I must apologize with you for my shameful behaviour. I hope you will forgive me and you too Paolina."

The cousins exchanged a look, feeling unconfortable, and merely nodded. They did not trust Fulvia: she was not the type of person who admitted her mistakes easily and certainly not with two people she considered her inferiors. And unfortunately Fulvia next moves proved them right. She feigned stumbling over a hidden branch and started to fall. Aelia reacted instinctively- bending down and offering her hand and Fulvia used that moment to act. With a sudden move she grabbed Aelia's bulla and pulled it with force, breaking the gold chain and dragging the girl to the ground. Aelia emitted a cry and Paolina turned around just in time to see Aelia land in the dirt as Fulvia ran away with the chain, a cruel smile on her lips.

 "You like this, don't you? I suppose this chain is the most precious thing you own....Well you will lose it as you caused me to lose the Emperor's respect!" And, with that, she turned toward the deep river which fed the lake.

"No!!" both girls shouted at once as they realized what Fulvia planned to do. Paolina let her flowers fall and, raising the hems of her tunic began to run after her, but the other girl had too great a head start. Paolina could only watch as Fulvia threw the chain in the waters, then brushed off her skirts and walked back toward the picnic to join the rest of the group as though nothing had ever happened.

Her head bowed, Paolina turned around toward Aelia.

"I am so sorry, " she whispered to her and felt a lump constricting her throat as the the fair haired girl began to tremble and cry. Paolina hugged her cousin and together they sank down on a bed of fallen leaves. Aelia was inconsolable. The bulla had been her most treausured possession-not because of its material value, but because it was her only link to her former life in Rome and to the family she had never known.

 

*****

.

General Claudius saw Fulvia return alone and noticed her satisfied expression. He was the only one because the emperor, the senator and Maximus were playing with the astragali. The old soldier watched the girl walk near the blanket were Lucilla was lying, sit beside her and began to whisper in her ear. He frowned seeing the cruel smile that appeared on Fulvia's lips and then started when he hear the name "Aelia". He knew what had happened in the praetorium the day he met his granddaughter for the first time and he was suddenly overwhemled by a sense of foreboding. The general stood up from the blanket and began walking quickly in the direction of the forest.

He had just stepped into the cool shadows of the wood when he heard the sound of crying and two low voices. Claudius followed the sound and approached the girls silently, keeping himself hidden behind the bushes. When he was near enough he was able to distingue the words and to hear Aelia repeat like a mantra "It was my only link with my past.." while Paolina tried in vain to console her.

The sound of his granddaughter's crying brought tears in the eyes of the hardened soldier and he decided to reveal himself. He stood up and walked near the girls.

Paolina and Aelia raised their heads when they heard his steps and then tried to quickly compose themselves. "General..." murmured Paolina.

The old man reached out a hand signalling them to be at ease. "There is no need to be ashamed or scared ...Shhh..." He stopped near them and murmured, "Would you tell me what happened, young ladies?"

The cousins exchanged a look and, at last, Aelia whispered, "I... lost my bulla in the river, sir."

"Oh," the general commented, not believing it for a moment. The pieces of the puzzle rapidly came together: Fulvia wanting to go with the cousins, her satisfied return, her cruel smile as she spoke Aelia's name while talking with Lucilla..... "I am sorry my dear, but we can buy you another."

Paolina frowned as she heard the word "we" but Aelia did not notice it.

"The bulla is irreplaceable...it was one-of-a kind...and, more importantly, it belonged to my grandmother.." she explained between her sobs.

"Yes, yes..." said the general, "I know that you are upset...But you are wrong, the necklace was not one-of-a-kind..." and with that, he reached into his pocket and retreived Antonia's other earring, putting it on the ground in front of Aelia.

Both the cousins gasped upon seeing it. Aelia's brow knit in confusion.."How...how..how did you find it?"

Claudius took a deep breath and explained, "Your bulla was one of a pair of earrings...earrings that belonged to my late wife, Antonia. It was my gift to her for our engagement...." He watched Aelia's face closely. "She died of broken heart when my daughter killed herself and my son, Claudius, escaped from home.....You see I have only one of them  because the other was taken by Claudius when he ran away..." He stopped talking and waited for his words to sink into Aelia's mind.

"What are you saying?" she asked uncertain.

"That the man who had the match to this earring was my son..." The metal bauble glimmered in the sunlight. "...Your are my granddaughter Aelia....My son's only child."

"How can you be so sure?" Paolina interjected quickly- she did not want Aelia to suffer another disappointment.

"I am sure because the design of these earring is unique....I purchased the pearls during one of my travels and I took them to the jeweler. He did the design, made the jewels and then destroyed the drawing. And more than that....Aelia is the very image of  her grandmother on our wedding day...the same eyes, the same hair...the same cheekbones," he smiled sadly. "...even your voice..." Claudius looked to Aelia with tenderness, his old eyes full of unshed tears.

Aelia returned the gaze, the suddenly closed her eyes, remembering why he looked so familiar when they first- he was the older version of her beloved father! Aelia moved the lips without emitting a sound and then, totally forgetting her manners, threw herself in Claudius' arms.

"Grandfather!" she whispered.

"My little Claudia!" he replied with voice full of emotion.

They hugged each other tighly and then began to laugh and cry at the same time. Paolina watched both them until Aelia reached out a hand and pulled her in their embrace.

 

*****

 

Back in the field near the lake the men stopped their game of dice as the air began to cool. Raising his eyes to the sky Marcus Aurelius saw that the sunset was beginning and declared the picnic near its end. Maximus stood up with the others and looked around to see where Paolina was. He saw her walking back along with Aelia and General Claudius. They were still far away but Maximus could see the wide smiles that graced the three faces and wondered about them. As they neared the group he also noticed that the general was holding Aelia's hand and for just a second he had the strange notion that his commander had asked Aelia to marry him....Maximus shook his head and pushed the silly idea away.

The others noticed the unusually happy expressions as well, and the group gathered around them.

"What's going on?" asked Marcus Aurelius.

Claudius and Aelia exchanged a look and the girl nodded. The general turned to the emperor and declared proudly, "Caesar, I wish to introduce to you my granddaughter, Claudia Domitia." The assembled group stared, looking stupefied and the genera continued, recounting the entire story and ending it with his intention of adopt Aelia and give her his name.

After a moment of stunned silence, words of congratulations filled the air. The emperor himself bestowed his blessing and offered to act as a witness to the adoption ritual.

 

*****

 

Quintus learned of the new development by his own father.

Titus Clarus burst in the tent where his son was sitting at his desk reading reports.

"Oh Quintus, my son....the Gods are smiling upon us!" The senator began in excited tones. Quintus felt a shiver run along his spine. "So," he thought, "The Emperor has forgiven Fulvia and there is no longer need to postpone the wedding. My freedom lasted only one day."

"Is Fulvia ready?" he asked resigned.

"Fulvia? Why are you speaking of her? You must speak of Aelia....Oh, Quintus, Quintus!! You don't know what happened during the trip!"

Quintus looked up sharply, barely able to restrain himself from grabbing his father's shoulders, "Aelia? What do you mean...Please, father calm down, and tell me..."

"Aelia....your Aelia is no longer a penniless and famililess girl...she is General Claudius's granddaughter!!'

"What?!" exclamed Quintus "How is it possible?"

In the next few minutes Titus calmed down enough to tell his son what had happened. Quintus listened with rapt attention, barely able to gasp the fact that his problems and obstacles had suddently disappeared. He felt as though his heart were ready to explode with joy, and he was barely able to ask,"Where is she now?"

"She is with Claudius, Maximus and Paolina in Caesar's tent...They are writing the adoption documents!"

Quintus raced to put on his uniform and rushed out of his tent, saying to himself over and over, "Please Gods, don't let it be only a dream, please Gods..."

 

*****

 

In the Emperor's tent all the papers had been signed, thanks to the imperial scribes who had compiled them in record time. Aelia was now officially and legally Claudia Domitia- General Claudius's only relative and heir. In the beginning the girl had not realized all the implications of the afternoon revelations...her heart had swelled with happiness only knowing that she was no longer without a past, and  that she had a family other than Paolina's. But now, as she listened to the Emperor list all Claudius belongings and lands - because the old man had also written a new will in her favor - she suddently realized she was no longer penniless. She was a very rich girl...she could now have an appropriate dowry ..... dowry ... Quintus!!

Aelia turned to look to Paolina and Maximus and her young relatives smiled at her...or more exactly, Paolina smiled to her while Maximus winked. Aelia could see that they had already grasped the implications of the situation. She felt overcome with joy, and started to pace nervously up and down the tent, her little lady manners for once forgotten. She hoped that Claudius and Marcus Aurelius concluded their businnes soon- she wanted to go to Quintus..to tell him...

Aelia suddently froze as Quintus head peeked inside the tent. Their eyes locked and all the rest of the tent occupants ceased to exist. They were as irresistably drawn to each other as a moth to the light and, ignoring the witnesses, they fell in each other arms just outside the tent opening.

 

General Claudius signed the last paper and then turned around toward his granddaughter meaning to acknowledge her with her new names in front of witnesses. His eyes widened when he saw the scene in front of him: Aelia was tightly wrapped in Lieutenant Clarus' arms, as he caressed her back gently and kissed the top of her head.

The old man was speechless and almost startled as Marcus Aurelius put his hand on his shoulder and murmured, "Amor vincit omnia." The monarch was smiling broadly because he thought the two youngsters were made for each other. General Claudius was not so sure...his granddaughter deserved only the best. With her intelligence, her education, her beauty, her breeding and her wealth she could have any one of the most elegible bachelors in the empire- including the son of the emperor himself, prince Commodus. He could not let her ruin her reputation with the third son of a not so influential senator!! He stepped forward to box the lieutenant's ears for presuming too much. Then, he suddently stopped.

Was this what he wanted to do? Wasn't what had happened to his daughter Claudia enough? Did really wanted to repeat the same mistake: forcing Aelia to marry someone of HIS choice instead that the man she loved? No, he said to himself. His stubborness had cost him already too much. Aelia had already paid the price of his inflexibility. The emperor was right, he had to let the love triumph.

Claudius exchanged a look with the Emperor and together they cleared their throats.

The combined sound entered the lover's ears and they suddently realized they had a audience. They hastily separated, and their faces blushed crimson. The emperor gestured for them to step nearer.

Quintus took Aelia's hand and together they entered the tent, their heads bowed as they waited for the inevitable reprimand.

Marcus Aurelius grinned and with a paternal smile said, "It would seem that congratulations are in order."

The two fair haired heads snapped up and two sets of wide eyes met the emperor's.

Claudius smiled too and hugged his granddaughter, "Oh darling I am so happy for you."

Quintus and Aelia stared at each other and then to Maximus and Paolina who, wrapped in each other' arms, were quetly nodding, confirming to their dear friends that they were not dreaming. They had heard correctly. The pair could marry each other.              

Of course, Titus Clarus had yet to say his 'yes' but no one doubted he would give his consent...What more he could ask from a prospective bride for his son? Aelia bested Fulvia in every field and also had the approval of the emperor himself.

The only matter to be decided was when and where the wedding would take place.

 

30

 

Quintus and Aelia wished to marry as soon as possible- that night if they would have been able, but Claudius would not allow it. He wanted time to get to know his granddaughter before he "gave her away", and the young Lieutenant still had to serve out the remainder of his sentence.   

Two months. That was the general's only offer, and the Clarus men were in no position to deny his demands.

The time seemed to pass at an almost interminable pace. Everyone's mind was on the future: Claudius, though relishing time with his new-found family, was frustrated by the Emperor's refusal to make a definite decision regarding the proposed treaty in the north. Every day, the first frosts- marking the end of the the campaigning season- seemed closer. The general was worried to leave his men so far from camp under the care of unseasoned Lieutenants...especially when the peace was so fragile. He wanted to send Maximus, but changed his mind. Paolina had not yet recovered from her father's death. Each day she seemed a little paler and more tired. The old man had overheard that she wasn't able to keep her food down in the mornings, and seemed to desire to do nothing but sleep. Clearly, she needed her husband. Since he felt more than a little responsible for Paolinus' passing, the general would not take him away. Maximus was also needed at the farm. The brother's had gone to their own homes to tend to the harvest, and Aelia now lived in the Praetorium with her grandfather. Sick as she was, Paolina could not manage the farm alone.

Lucilla, and Fulvia left almost as soon as Aelia's identity was revealed. Fulvia was no longer needed- and her presence undesirable. Facing the loss of her only friend, Lucilla had begged to be allowed to return as well. Still disgusted with his daughter's actions, the Emperor agreed.

Titus Clarus was also anxious for time to pass. He wanted to see his son married so that he could return to Rome. He has been away from politics for nearly two months, and each dispatch from the capitol made him itch with the desire to return home.

However, no one longed for the passing of time more feverently than Quintus and Aelia.

Unlike Paolinus, Claudius was not willing to turn a blind eye to acts of impropriety. He had tolerated the embrace at the adoption. Thereafter, he made it very clear to young Quintus that Aelia (as she continued to be called despite her new name) was to be touched only with his eyes- and even then only from the waist up. They were only allowed brief visits- always in the presence of a chaperone, and usually in front of the general himself. Of course, the prohibition only made them burn for each other all the more brightly.

Quintus could barely sleep at night as visions of Aelia's perfect form- as revealed to him in the tent the night before her ill-fated wedding- haunted his dreams.

 

*****

 

At last, the day of the wedding arrived. Paolina came to Aelia very early in the morning to begin the preparations. There were not nearly so many things to do as for Paolina's wedding- the seemingly endless supply of servants belonging to the Emperor and the general had taken care of arranging seats for guests and preparing the feast. The girls needed only to bathe and get dressed in time for the ceremony, which would take place just before sunset.

Since they had so much time, the girls worked very slowly. Paolina and Aelia each took baths in the elegant washroom where Paolina had first overheard the empress speaking to Maximus. The tub was large enough for them both, and the lingered in the scented water until their fingers and toes grew wrinkled and soft. Dragging themselves at last from the bath, they stood on downy  tigerskin while servants rubbed their skin with scented oil and soft towels. Then, they were powdered and wrapped in light silk robes before being hurried into the room where Lucilla had slept.

Their damp hair was seperated into sections, then wound around linene strips, which were tied tightly to their heads to curl. Then the servants were sent away so that the girls could rest.

"Are you nervous?" Paolina asked tenatively. As pronumba, it was her duty to be certain that Aelia was 'prepared' for what would happen that night.

"No." Aelia said with feeling, "Oh, Paolina. I am so happy! My only fear is that I will wake up and it will all be a dream."

Paolina smiled. Yes, Aelia's dreams had all finally come true. At last, she was the elegant Roman lady she had always wanted to be. Since discovering her identity, Claudius had showered her with more silver and silk than even Aelia had ever dreamed of. After the winter, when the army returned to war,

Aelia would retire to the elegant Viminal mansion in the heart of the city where she had been born. No longer would she sell flowers to the senators as they passed through the forum. She would send her own servants to buy them and to fashion garlands for her elegant parties.Oh! How Paolina would miss her. The little farm would be so empty...    .

"Paolina, are you crying?" Aelia said, rolling over on the bed that they were sharing to face her cousin.

"Y-yes.." Paolina said, sniffling a little. "I am sorry, Aelia. I am so happy for you! But also sad...our childhood is finally over. Even when I was married to Maximus things were mostly the same. Now, you will go away to Rome, and I will be here alone...Even tata is gone."

Aelia's lips turned into a frown. "Yes...I wish that he could be here..."

Aelia looked at her hands, feeling suddenly very solemn. "But why must you remain at the farm at all? Come with me to Rome!"

"What?"        

"We could both return here when the winter comes again...there is no reason for you to stay all alone- it is not as though I know anyone in Rome. I would be just as lonely as you. I am sure that grandfather would allow it."

Paolina blinked. Rome! Like any provincial, she was curious about the great capitol, but she had never dreamed that she would actually see it. Even Maximus, who had seen much of the empire through his travels in the legions had not been to the seat of power. "Perhaps." she said at last, still a little uncertain.

Paolina fell silent while she considered the offer, and when she turned to speak again, Aelia was fast asleep. The cousin soon joined her in slumber, and it was several hours later that the gentle voice of the slave girls coaxed them back away.

Now, preparations for the wedding began in earnest. The tightly bound curls were unwound and tousled slightly as the hairdressers prepared the intricate styles that the ladies would wear. Paolina's hair was gathered high on top of her head, a single strand tightly braided and interwoven with gold

ribbon, which was them wrapped around her head so that she resembled a statue of a Greek Goddess. Although the style was universally lamaneted as terribly ugly, Aelia was too much a lady to choose anything but the dreaded "tutulus" arrangement for her own wedding style. With a spearpoint from her grandfather's own arms, Aelia's hair was divided into six sections, then coiled again, and rolled into little balls which rested atop her head.

Next, cosmetics were applied- lightly, since neither girl was accustomed to wearing them, and at last, they prepared to dress.  It was tradition that the bride recieved these garments from her mother. Indeed, Paolina herself had worn her mother's gown- only the shoes had been changed. Since Aelia's

mother had never had a wedding gown to share, Paolina had brought her own with her from the house for Aelia to borrow. She had pointed it out to the servants, and expected to find it laid out on the bed, but it was not.

"Where-" she started to say...and then she saw what the slave-girls were carrying in their arms. 

The dress was a butter yellow silk. So finely woven that it was nearly translucent, rendered modest only by the thick, hand-woven girdle worn to be worn beneath. Over the garment, there was a

second, shorter tunica of soft salmon at the hem but, moving up the fabric, growing deeper and deeer in color until it was a bright orange. Finally, finer even than the yellow undergarment, was a vermillion veil. Paolina clapped her hands in wonderment.

"It was your grandmother's" The servant said, displaying it for Aelia's review. "And your Aunt Claudias' as well. The general sent for it from Rome."

Aelia reached out to touch the cloth, a tear glimmering in her eyes.

There were more presents from her grandfather as well- orange blossoms for her hair, carried by courier all the way from Judea where they were still in season, kept cool in bags of snow until they could arrive, an imago of Aelia that he had commissioned for his personal shrine and, finally, a small

box wrapped in parchment. Aelia lifted it very slowly.

"Look!" She said, as the item beneath it came into view. "There is something for you as well." She picked up the second item, a box with Paolina's name on it. "Open yours first."

Excitedly, Paolina tore away the wrappings, then sighed happily as she discovered a lovely golden bracelet for her arm. It had a simply pattern of oak leaves on the outside, and in the inside it was an inscription  which read. "Dearest sister. Beloved friend.". Paolina frowned. "It is lovely- but why would the general give me such a thing?"

Aelia sighed. "It is not from the general, it is from me." Aelia hugged her cousin tightly. "You have stood by me even in the darkest hours. I do not know how I would make due without you."

Paolina smiled. "Let us hope that we never have to find out."

Next, Aelia opened her present. It was another necklace. This one had small rubies and an orange stone that the girls had never seen which matched the wedding attire.

They dressed quickly, and then spent what seemed like hours standing in the room, waiting for their signal to arrive.

 

*****

 

At last the moment came. They entered the imperial throne room, where Titus, Claudius, and the Emperor were engaged in inspection of the marriage contract. Quintus was watching his father, but he seemed to sense Aelia's arrival.

He looked up.

The expression on his face was one of absolute wonder. Amazement that the moment had ever happened, but also awe that he could every be loved by such a rarified creature as Aelia. She seemed like a goddess floating toward him, and he burned for her touch. He barely listened to the ceremony, hearing himself repeat his vows as though he were in another room. His heart beat wildly as Aelia repeated her own.

It was over.

They were married.

Quintus clasped Aelia's hands tightly, longing to kiss her. His torture had lasted so long! It was as though they had been trapped in a prison of glass- able to see the other, hear the other, smell the other- but never, ever touch....At last he was her husband!

Claudius directed the guests toward the triclinium. The tents had been rearranged to allow more couches to be brought in. All the important businessman and high ranking officers in the province were in attendance. The emperor himself would offer a toast. After a few moments of confusion, the

guests settled into their places, and the emperor raised his glass to offer a toast.

"To-" he held his cup in the direction of the couch reserved for Aelia and Quintus. His lower lip dropped slightly, and then a deep, amused smile broke across his face. He scanned the room, and then lifted his cup again. "To Quintus Clarus, and his wife- Aelia Claudia Domitia Clara....whereever they may be."

There was a moment of suprised silence, and then the guests broke in raucuos laughter.

The bride and groom were nowhere to be found.

 

*****

 

Aelia's heart felt as though it would explode, and her chest was heaving with exertion. She didn't know if it was from the sprint that she and Quintus had made from the ceremony, or her nervousness that they would be caught. She was certain that they could not remain unnoticed for long-- oh,

but it was worth the risk! She could wait no longer...and Quintus felt the same.

They had run all the way to his usual officer's quarters. Tidy. Cramped. Not at all decorated for the wedding. The only furnishings were a wide desk and a simple bed. It was all the the newlyweds would need. Aelia walked timidly toward the mattress and sat upon its edge. 

Quintus reached his hand toward his wife's face, caressing her cheekbone lightly with his fingertips. How wonderful it was to finally touch her! His nerves seemed to hum with joy. For so long, loving Aelia had meant want....at last, it could mean fulfillment. He reached for the tight coils of her hair, and removed the pins by which they were bound. Carefully, he unrolled each lock, releasing it into tight, rose-scented curls which hung about her waist.

Very slowly, Quintus pulled his hand away, reaching for the fastenings of his breastplate. Aelia hurried to her feet to assist him. Their fingers brushed as they nervously fumbled with the clasps. At last, the armor slipped away, and Aelia ran her hands along the soft wool of his tunic, feeling the hard planes of his muscles below. She felt as though she should linger there, memorizing each detail of his form- savoring the luxury of time that their marriage now afforded her, but her need was too great.

Once, when she was very small, Aelia had swam with Paolina and her brother's in the river that bordered their farm. Although they had warned her not to go too far, Paolina had bet her that she could not swim across.

She had taken the bet,  nearly reaching  the middle before the current had pushed her off course, carrying her downstream too quickly for her muscles to fight. She had struggled futilely against the rushing stream and, at last, it had pulled her under. She held her breath, kicking wildly for the

surface, but it never seemed to come. She had kicked and clawed until, finally, everything had gone dark. Her first memory afterwards was of Tertius, Paolina's middle brother, pulling her to the shore, her lungs filling at last with the oxygen they craved.

 Standing with Quintus now in his darkened chambers, Aelia felt as though she were taking that first breath of air. She wanted to take him in in great gulps, gorging on that which had been forbidden, until she was certain that it could not be taken from her again.

Aelia's hands moved beneath the hem of her husband's  tunica, retracing the route they had taken on its surface, caressing the broad line of his chest, the gentle ridges of his stomach, and lightly brushing his thighs. She let her fingers trail across the front of the loincloth, feeling the first stirrings of his desire, and then she drew him close, quietly urging the tunic over his head.

Quintus complied, holding himself a bit apart from her embrace so that she could see his body, relieved to see the enjoyment she took from the sight. He was scarred in places, as any brave soldier was apt to be, but he was also battle hardened and well-formed.

Powerful.

Aelia shuddered at the definition of his biceps and thighs, imaging his strength that would back his passion.

"Now you." Quintus whispered, slowly drawing away the girl's veil. Moving very slowly, as if his intent were to torture her, he folded the fabric into a tidy square which he placed atop the desk. Then he reached for her arms, running his palm upwards from her wrist to her shoulder, finally stopping at the golden clasps which held the overtunic in place. It was quickly dispensed with. Then the second, longer garment, was raised abover her head.

Only the girdle remained- a tricky, and archaic article of clothing. Basically, it was yet another tunica, pinned betwen her legs like pantalets, held to her body with a golden cord.  The cord- therein lay the challenge. It was the knot of Hercules, a cultural allusion to the legend of the great hero.. It was a knot which only a husband could untie on the night of his wedding. While the Lieutenant held a keen appreciation for tradition, he began to sense that it was more a joke on the nuptial couple than a truly revered observance. Whomever had tied Aelia's knot had taken the business seriously, the lines were so tightly coiled that he could not get his fingers between them to ease them apart. He sighed in frustration, and Aelia's trembling hands intervened to help.

The electric touch of her skin only made Quintus more frantic. Aelia's nearness cast a spell on him, and his desire could no longer be ignored. His erection strained against its thin covering, urging toward his wife, ready to claim her as his bride- if not for the damn knot!

Leaving the hopeless task to her husband, Aelia leaned forward and inhaled the musky, evergreen scent of his body. She pulled his head toward his chest, nuzzling his ear and then, tracing its edges with her tongue.

The movement elicited a sigh of satisfaction, and one of Quintus's hands abandoned the knot, resting finally on the swell of her bottom, pushing her forcefully to the evidence of his need.         

The contact sent shivers along the woman's spine. Never in her life had she experienced such a powerful desire. Every fiber seemed magnetically drawn to him. In her core, a slow, throbbing ache had begun, a mixture of pleasure and pain. The sensation built as his fingers caressed her back and thighs.

She arched toward him again.

"Aelia." Quintus said hoarsely. He silence himself on her breast, taking one of the snowy mounds to his lips and suckling it gently. Aelia's toes scrunched in delight and her fingers twined in his hair, drawing him harder against her, begging him to linger.....

His breath growing faster, Quintus pushed Aelia onto the bed. She was surprised by the icy sensation of the sheets on her bare shoudlers, and through the filmy fabric of the girdle. He laid atop her, attending to the other breast now, as his hands groped restlessly along her side.

Between her legs, Aelia could feel the hot pressure of his sex. He rubbed aginst her, mimicing the act they would soon complete, taunting them both with the gentle friction which, though pleasureable, could not give them the release they desired.

Finally releasing her breasts, Quintus gathered Aelia in a deep kiss. She squirmed in surprise as she felt his tongue inside her mouth, and then sighed as he used it to caress her. She did not stop to worry over how he had obtained his expertise. She was like clay in his hands, soft and yielding, perfectly attuned to every advance he offered...

But she was not merely passive. Aelia had desires as well, and she made them known, sliding her hand inside the waist of his covering, and taking his steely member in her hand.       

"Aelia..." Quintus groaned as her fingers closed around the turgid flesh.

Almost involuntarily, he pushed  forward, sliding her hand along the shaft, teaching her how to give him pleasure. She repeated the motion, sliding her index finger along the tip, incresing pressure as her confidence grew...

"Aelia..." he repeated the word over and over as her rythmn increased, it was like a mantra. In a way, meaningless, while at the same time cleary expressing his hunger in ways that no other words do.

She started as he savagely pushed her hand away, gasping, and pulling their bodies apart.

"Did I--" the question was silenced with a firm kiss, and then he returned to stroking her cheek as he lay beside her and gulped for breath. Finally his breathing somewhat slowed, and he rolled back toward her body.

His fingers went for the knot again. His hands clawed at the tangle, only worsening the mess, and at last he made a sound of despair.

"Oh, dammit." He muttered under his breath, and in a  movement almost too quick to see, he removed a dagger from beneath the bed, and cut the cord in too.

In a rush, the garment seemed to slip away, spilling Aelia's nakedness onto the mattress, and her husband sighed in relief. The dagger, and the girdle slipped to the floor, and he gathered Aelia tightly into his arms.

She reached for him again, but he stilled her hand. "Your turn." He murmured, and in the next moment, Aelia inhaled a sharp and startled breath. His fingers were between her legs, exploring the soft folds of her body, and siexing upon the bundle of sensitive flesh at the head of her opening. She shuddered as he stroked her, his fingertips coaxing sensations for which she had no words- only incoherent moans to express her delight.

Quintus continued the motions, gratified by the abandon with which his wife recieved her pleasure.  His hands lingered, coaxing her body to relax until she was wet and hot- as ready for him as he was for her. His cravings would no longer be denied.

Aelia felt no pain as Quintus entered her, only a heavy sense of fulfillment that seemed to settle to her very bones. Then, as he began to move, an incredible fullness.

There was gentleness, but not restraint.

Quintus had been denied too long to take her softly. He thrust deep and hard, branding her as his bride, drawing ragged gasps of pleasure at each stroke. He murmured appreciatively as their bodies moved together. The sank together again and again, their passion filling the small space with heat. Aelia's fingers clenched and unclenched unvoluntarily as each stroke filled her with fresh shimmers of delight.

"Quintus." Aelia's thoughts had begun to swim. Inside her body was a spring being wound very tight and finally.....

They came together, their mingled cries of pleasure carrying audibly into the night. Quintus held his bride tightly as his seed spilled between her thighs, his eyes firmly shut, unable to bear further stimulation of any fashion. At last, passion spent, he collapsed beside her, drawing her back against his chest...

 

*****           

 

At the dinner, Paolina blushed at her cousin's absence. She lowered her head as the laughter in the room slowly tapered back into polite conversations.

"Perhaps she is merely lost..." she whispered to Maximus, but this drew a hearty laugh.

"I'm afraid I know Quintus better than that..."  He patted her thigh. "I'm afraid *you* know *Aelia* better than that."

Paolina nodded weakly.

Maximus frowned. "Selene, are you alright?" He stroked her hair gently. "You seem pale..."

"It is the closeness in here." She said, gesturing t the crowded room. "Perhaps I need some air."

"I'll come with you."

"No."

Paolina rose unsteadily to her feet. She walked toward the tentflap that would lead to the courtyard....and then she swooned.

Luckily, Maximus had ignored her assurances. He was no more than a foot behind her when she fell, and caught her in his strong arms, but this was little consolation. He had suspected that his wife was ill for more than two months- this was confirmation.

"Cicero!" Maximus called for his servant as he hurriedly carried Paolina into the hall.

"Sir?" The boy asked, rushing over.

"Call a surgeon! Paolina needs help."

"Immediately!" Cicero said, breaking into a run.

Maximus carried Paolina to his room. Her eyes were open again before they arrived.

"Let me walk..." Paolina begged him, but he would not comply.

"No." he insisted. "You're in no condition for that. The doctor will be here in a minute."

Even as he spoke, the man had arrived. He was an old, kindly looking Greek who looked at her with concern.

"I will take care of her." he directed Maximus. "Please wait outside."

Maximus did as he was told.

Paolina meekly obeyed as the doctor took her pulse and listened to her chest. He asked her to describe her symptoms, which were short and rather tersely announced. She was merely tired, she insisted, a little nauseaous in the mornings.

"When was your last blood?" The doctor asked.

Paolina's face grew crimson at the question. "I....I haven't been paying attention..." She confessed "Before tata died..." She shrugged and added, even more embarassed before. "I am not...not always regular.....it is hard to tell."

The doctor merely nodded and then asked her to unfasten her tunica. Mortified, hoping that Maximus would not come in and see what the man was doing, she did as she was told. The man examined her breasts, and then pressed on one lightly.   

"Ow!" Paolina winced, and quickly re-fastened the tunica. "They're sore..." She said with a fierce frown, "and I don't see-"

But now the man's hands were on her belly, gently pushing the area around her navel. Paolina shivered. She had only seen it done once before- when their neighbor had had tumors in his stomach. She felt a shiver along her spine. Would she die?

"Call your husband back in." The doctor said abruptly.

Paolina searched his face. Why couldn't he tell her what was wrong alone? Trembling, she sent for Maximus.

The Legate's face was a picture of concern. The doctor could tell that the man would be devastated to learn that anything was wrong with his young wife, and so he patted the man on the knee and told him to sit down. Maximus did so, settling beside Paolina and taking her hand tightly.

"I am sorry to tell you that Paolina will not be better for some time..." the man began. If possible, Maximus' face went even whiter. His grip was so tight that Paolina nearly yelped in pain, but the doctor's next words brought relief. "But when she does, it will be worth the trouble....you are expecting your first child."

Maximus and Paolina looked at each other with surprise and then their faces erupted into wide grins. They were going to have a baby!! The couple hugged and Maximus kissed Paolina's face.

The polite sound of throat clearing recalled them to reality and they both flushed crimson when they remembered they were not alone. The surgeon, the same one the year before had given them the medicines that had saved Aelia's life, smiled gently to them and said, "Congratulations."

Maximus nodded, squeezing Paolina's hand. "Thank you."

"Now I want to give you same advice. Paolina, I want you to take a tonic that I will prepare for you everyday, it will help you giving you strength even if you can't keep the food in your stomach. You must avoid rigourous works and of course no more horse rides untill the baby is born, which should be sometime around next June. I will visit you every month to be sure everything is proceding well, all right?"

Paolina nodded smiling, "Of course sir, thank you sir."

"Don't call me that. My name is Manlius. I have patched Maximus up so many times, since he joined the army, that I consider him my favorite patient....and as his wife you are special too!" The doctor collected his belonging and added, "Now I go. Stay here, I will send a servant with the first dose of the tonic. Its effect is immediate so you will be able to return to the banquet. I will also send the necessary ingredients and instructions to prepare it in your home." He smiled again at the young woman, whose face was no longer ashen, then gestured to Maximus with his head, indicating he had to follow him outside. The Legate frowned but complied.

When they were out Manlius looked at the younger man and asked, "You love your wife very much, don't you?" Maximus nodded, not understanding. The doctor smiled, "Well, this will be difficult but you must adere to my instructions..."

"What instructions?" said Maximus a little bit frustrated.

"No strenuos work, remember? And no rides... of any kind..." Manlius gave him a meaningful look and Maximus blushed, finally understanding. "Your wife is a petite woman and this is the first child. This is bound to be difficult, so it is better to be prudent than sorry...all right?"

Maximus nodded again, than shook Manlius' hand in thanks before returning to his wife, mentally chosing the words to tell her about the doctor final advice. Knowing Paolina's passionate soul those will be the hardest to follow...

 

*****

 

When they returned in the banquet hall they were surprised to see that Aelia and Quintus had joined the guests and were eating with gusto. Maximus squezeed Paolina's hand and whispered in her ear, "I suppose they need to replinish their strength!"

Paolina nodded, seeing how radiant their faces were. Aelia no longer wore the wedding dress but another one in fine pale pink silk, and her hair was loose on her shoulders. Quintus still wore his uniform but Maximus' sharp eyes saw that one of the buckles of his leather armor was undone.

Marcus Aurelius raised his eyes from his plate and smiled when he saw Maximus and Paolina return to their seats. He lowered his goblet and asked, "I assume that everything is all right?"

Maximus beamed, "Yes Caesar, it is all right...more than all right."

The emperor cocked his head and replied, "Oh?" Then, noting Paolina's shy but radiant smile, added "Do you have something to announce, my boy?"

Maximus looked at the monarch surprised -both by the fact the old man seemed to already  what was going on, and that he had called him 'my boy' in front of a hall full of high ranking officers and politicians. The legate turned to his wife, taking her hand in his, and with a proud voice declared, "My wife and I are going to have a child."

The hall burst into a chorus of cheers and applauses. Marcus Aurelius smiled broadly- happy that his two favorite soldiers, old General Claudius and young Legate Maximus, were both having such a wonderful day.

 

31

 

Lost in their happiness, no one seemed to notice how quickly the months began to flee.

Caesar at last returned to the South and the Northern Legions returned home for the winter. Although negotiations had not concluded, the truce had held- there were no more skirmishes.

Maximus spent almost all of his time at the little farm which he shared with his wife. He felt bathed in happiness as he watched her figure grow rounded and full. In spite of the doctor's warnings, the feminine beauty of her changing body was often too tempting to resist, though the Spaniard was careful to contain his enthusiasm. He hired many new servants to help around the house- two for cleaning, one for cooking, one to carry little items that Paolina needed from other parts of the house- to make sure that she would never need to lift a finger, even when he was away.

At least once per week, Quintus and Aelia would come to dinner. They had moved into the cottage which sat on the property earmarked by Paolinus for Aelia's dowry, and which later descended to her by his will. The quarters were cramped, but cozy, and no amount of pleading from her grandfather could convince the girl to return to his elegant quarters at the camp. She visited the main house often during her days- that is, when she was not overseeing the project she had commenced. Aelia devised the perfect use for the money Paolinus had left her along with the land. Though expensive and difficult, she commissioned a stone wall along the property, set into the ground with a mixture of hardened ash, the boundaries between Paolinus' and Publius' land would never be questioned again.

Aelia, who hoped to soon share Paolina's condition, was very solicitous about the pregnancy. She inquired often about the little pains that her cousin felt, and what it was like to sense the child moving inside of her. She hoped very much that the baby would be a girl, and had already begun accumulating presents for the child in anticipation of her role as doting aunt.

Not wanting to disappoint her, Paolina kept to herself the knowledge that the child she carried was a son. She had seen his face on the night that he was conceived, and he continued to come to her in dreams. A son.... She smiled as she imagined Maximus as a father, holding the tiny baby in his arms and, much later, teaching the boy to ride and tending to the animals in the fields. There would be other babies, of course, (thirteen more! she thought with a smile), but the first would always be special.

Perfect happiness rarely lasts, however, and the wintering period was cut far shorter than anyone had expected. Maximus hoped (while admitting that the chances were slim), that he would still be at home when the child was born, but it was not to be. In mid-March, Claudius received the news that the chieftain with whom he had arranged the fragile peace had been slain.

Tensely, the army prepared to march. Then, in the first week of April, the Barbarians struck.

It was as though a chill went through the entire town, rather than striking a fort or encampment on the furthest edge of incursion, a raiding party had attacked a village only twenty miles from the little town where they lived.

Two day's ride...Everyone seemed caught up in fear. Maximus assured his little wife that she was perfectly safe. Even the most daring tribes would avoid the winter quarters of the legions...but in the back of his mind, there was still a prickling of fear. Other raids followed- and in far more distant portions of the patrol. It was as though the tribes were trying to force a division of forces- placing garrisons in every populated city seemed the only way to protect against the attacks- and that would spread resources much too thin.

At last, at the end of April, Claudius gave the order that Quintus and Maximus had been dreading. It was time to march. His spies had located the mastermind behind the uprisings throughout the valley, and hoped, rather than believed, that a firm action could curb the attacks.

Very sadly, Quintus and Maximus took leave of their young wives. Aelia returned to the farmhouse so that she would not be alone, and so that she could see to her cousin's care. Maximus marveled at how much harder it was to leave his wife this year than it had been the last (though even then the separation had been terrible). Would it worsen every year?

With heavy hearts, the soldiers mounted their horses and headed north.

Paolina was too large now to walk through the woods to her rock to say goodbye, and so she spent her evening curled against a pillow, shedding miserable tears into her empty bed.

The entire camp was deserted now. The tents had all been removed, and there were only open gates,  patches of dead grass and muddy, rutted roads to show that the place had even existed. Manlius had joined the armies on their march, and so Paolina's care had been entrusted to a local midwife, named Tertulla.

 

*****

 

The first month after Maximus' absence passed remarkably quickly. It was birthing season for the horses, and Paolina was caught up in the excitement of new life. It was always a happy time, but this year she herself would become a mother, and so the wobbling, spindly legs of the new colts, and the

fluffy yellow backs of ducklings seemed even more captivating than usual. She was not often permitted to walk around the farm, but when she was, she inevitably went to the barn to see the little babies and imagine her own child.

As time wore on, she became heavier and heavier. The skin on her stomach ached from stretching, and her back seemed continually to throb whenever she walked. Her son was an active child, his limbs in an almost constant state of motion. Each position he chose seemed to bring a different problem. When he laid on her stomach, she would be unable to eat, and forced to chew chalk to fight back the painful acid that would rise to her chest. When he rested forward, it was difficult to move. When he moved his arms, they would strike her ribs and kidneys, bending her over with the sudden, sharp flickers of pain...and when he quieted down, his head would lay on her bladder, sending her on almost constant trips to the bathroom. The constant minor discomforts of pregnancy seemed weighted together began to take their toll. As she had been in the beginning, Paolina wanted only to lie on her bed. Even the tonic no longer worked.

Aelia called the midwife frequently, and Tertulla simply ordered rest. Although she did not want to alarm the girls, she was growing slightly concerned. The baby was larger than she had expected-and there was still nearly a month to grow. Paolina's body gave all the signs that it was ready to give birth, but the child had not yet turned. She ordered the young mother to take frequent walks, and prayed that the tactic would convince the baby to move...

Now that Paolina was mostly confined to bed, Aelia ran the house. The servants were a great help in tending the farm and preparing meals, but with only two young women in the home- and Paolina requiring little other than meals and entertainment to be brought to her room- there was not always enough to do.

And so, one mid-May morning, when Paolina was sleeping late, Aelia sent the servants into town. She busied herself in the study preparing a letter to her husband, and was surprised when their little errand girl quickly returned.

"Mistress!" She cried, running into the house. "Mistress Aelia! Mistress Paolina, you must leave now!"

"What ?"  Aelia asked, frowning. "What are you talking about?" She rose from the desk, sliding her letter into the dresser.

"You have to hurry and go!!!  The barbarians are making a raid. They've been to Gergovia just last night!"

"What?" Aelia gasped, her blood running cold.

"Gergovia is fallen! There were thirty or forty families killed. It's a party of about two hundred men. They've called out the auxiliaries but..."

The mistress's face was very white, her mind raced. Was it possible that the hordes had slipped so far beyond the borders? Her last letter of Quintus had implied considerable success in containing the tribes in the East...was this their plan? To draw pressure off of their main forces by tempting the

legions to divide? Her mind felt foggy and slow.

"Go to the barn." Aelia said at last. "Order the wagon hitched to the horses....I want the mattress carried out of my room and loaded on board...Paolina will have to ride that way."

The girl nodded and headed outside. Aelia ran upstairs to her cousin's room.

 

32

 

Aelia was shocked at how pale and sweaty she found her cousin.

"Paolina!" She gasped. "What is wrong!"

The other girl turned her face toward Aelia wearily. Her skin seemed lined and tired.

"It started after midnight..." She whispered, her voice scratchy and parched.

"You didn't call me!"

"It isn't bad...." She gritted her teeth as another wave of pain began, and fell silent, concentrating on remaining quiet as she waited for the sensation to subside. "...it's only...only a little bit...no need to get Tertulla yet..."

Aelia realized, at last, that Paolina was trying to be brave. No doubt she thought it would do her credit, as the wife of a legate, to withstand her labor stoically and without uttering a peep. Her companion sighed in exasperation and fear. "Oh, Paolina...we cannot get Tertulla at all....the city is being evacuated!"

"What?" Paolina's tired face seemed even dimmer.

"The barbarians are conducting a raid...they were in Gergovia just last night...." She bit her lip, unsure of what to do. "Oh, Paolina...can you travel?"

The question was answered as another wrenching contraction contorted Paolina's face. So soon? She was on the verge of delivery- she could not be moved.

"I can't find the grooms!" the little errand girl burst breathlessly into the room. "I've searched everywhere. They must have gone into town with the others...."

"When will they be back?"

"They WON'T be back." The girl said, mournfully. "I saw them leave with the first villagers...the barbarians are on their way...oh!!!"

Aelia could hear in the girl's thin voice how she wished that she had left with the others, and the woman was touched by her servant's devotion.

"It's alright." Aelia said , reassuringly. "We will remain here. We are far from the river...they will bypass this farm."

"But...."

"And we will hide." Aelia said quickly. "Soon...first there is much to do....go and fetch Mistress Paolina some water. Then I will tell you what to do."

The girl hurried off to do as she was told. Aelia leaned over the bed and stroked her cousin's hair. "Try to relax, Paolina. Everything will be alright. You will see." She hoped that the other woman could not sense the lack of conviction in her words. She left the room in a hurry, running toward the nursery, where she stripped the mattress off of her bed and rolled it under her arm. Flying down the stairs, she went to the kitchen. Her heart pounded as she pulled back the woven rug and grasped the metal ring which covered the entrance to the vegetable cellar.

She shivered as she walked down the rickety stairs. The cellar was kept for storing produce and unchurned cream. It smelled slightly of spoiled milk and wilted vegetables, and it was very dark. Shivering, a little bit afraid, Aelia lowered the mattress onto the damp soil.

Hurrying back upstairs, she nodded at the serving girl who was giving Paolina some water.

"Bring a clean knife, some blankets, and a bucket of water to the cellar." She said hastily, then she hurried out again.

She went to her uncle's study, rummaging hastily through the drawers searching for a knife or short sword that she could use to defend herself if necessary. She cried out in frustration as the attempt proved fruitless. It was not a military family. She settled for a slim silver letter-opener which

she slid into the hem of her skirt and moved to the kitchen again to collect some food when she froze. There was smoke....she squinted. Smoke coming from her house- the cottage that she and Quintus had shared for the winter! Had the tribesmen already arrived? Her heart hammering in her chest, Aelia

dropped the food and ran to he cousin's room.

"Circe!" She cried, summoning the girl to her aid. "Help me!"

Paolina's contractions were coming very fast now, and the movement nearly made her collapse with pain, but there was no time to wait. Struggling to support the other woman's weight, Aelia and Circe transported Paolina down the stairs, and then, barely squeezing her distended abdomen through the

opening in the floor, lowered her to the cellar floor. She was arranged on the mattress, the dirt quickly brushed away, and covered with a warm blanket. Aelia retrieved a carrot from one of the bins and gave it to her cousin to bite- she could not afford to cry out now...

She strained her ears upwards, searching for any sound, but there was none....did she dare stick her head outside.

"The rug!" Circe whispered.

Aelia shivered. She had not been able to pull it back over the door...If the invaders saw it, their hiding place would be betrayed.

"I will get it." Aelia said, gathering her courage. "But I will not be able to return." For the rug to remain in place, the door could not be opened again.

"No, I will do it." Circe said bravely. "I do not know how to bring the baby, and Paolina needs you here."

Aelia nodded, very grateful.

"Very well....when you get outside, try to run for the spring house. You should be safe there."

The girl nodded, wide-eyed, she skittered up the ladder. The door was closed, there was a scooting sound as the rug was returned to its place, and then a light, tapping knock, as if to say "good luck" before the girl's light footsteps raced away.

Aelia simply stared upwards at the door, praying to the Gods that her brave helper would escape unharmed.

"*ohhhh*" Paolina's soft sigh finally recaptured her cousin's attention.

"Oh, Paolina..." she said quietly. "I am so sorry..."

"No...no...I am sorry..." She moaned again. "You should leave with Circe. I'll...I'll be okay..."

"As If I would leave my cousin alone....Besides, I would rather face the barbarians than your husband if I let anything happen to you." She said, drawing a faint smile at last.

 

*****

 

The afternoon seemed to stretch on for an eternity. Paolina's labor continued very strong, but she did not seem to make any progress. The desperation of the situation finally overcoming the girl's modesty, Aelia checked for the baby's position, and was alarmed to discover that the child had barely moved at all. What was taking so long?

"Perhaps you should stand." Aelia advised, after another hour of agonizing, and fruitless labor. With no mother or close neighbors, she had never witnessed a birth, but she had overheard stories in the town, and Tertulla had described them to her in detail so that she could assist in her cousin's care. Painfully, Paolina clamored to her feet, and Aelia held her under the arms, trying to support her weight as the terrible contractions continued.

Still, the afternoon wore on. Time and again, Aelia reached for the trapdoor, only to hear a shuffling or creaking sound that would frighten her away. Once the door was opened, there was no way to shut it again without being discovered. She would have to wait.

"Aelia!..." Two hours later, Paolina bit hard into the little carrot and twisted on her bed. Although the cellar was cool, her body was drenched in sweat. The baby still had not moved, and the only change was that Paolina's condition was rapidly deteriorating. Reached downward to check once more,

hoping to find at least a small sound of progress, but sucked in her breath as she found only blood.

"What is it?" Paolina asked, through her belabored breaths, she could see the look of fear on her cousin's face.

"It is....oh, Paolina. I must go and find Tertulla!" She said at last. She was in despair- realizing at last that her cousin might actually die.

"No you-"

Both of the girls fell silent as heavy bootsteps echoed on the floor above.

Footsteps crossed the floor, and then there was a muffled shout- a name?

Aelia's hands felt like ice. The words were foreign. The barbarians had truly come.

Even Paolina seemed to momentarily forget her physical torment as the fear of the invaders filled her limbs with ice. The sound of more footfalls- and then a crashing of furniture and plates mingled in the air with more barbarian chants.

Aelia could smell the tangy scent of burning pitch. A torch? Was it nightfall already? And then she shivered again. What if they meant to burn the house? There would be no way to escape. She fought to maintain her calm.

The footsteps and muffled voices continued for more than an hour. Aelia realized at last that the men were eating the food which she had been preparing for breakfast. She was tense all over, knowing that the attackers were so close...that she had no where to run. She was filled with worry over Paolina as well. The bleeding continued, slow, but steady. After so many hours of fighting the endless pain, she collapsed into unconsciousness.

Finally, seeing that Paolina had slumped into blackness, Aelia allowed herself to cry. The only check on her hot tears was the terrible certainty of what would happen if her sobs were overheard, and so, she placed her mouth very firmly against the crumpled mattress, hiding her aching sobs in its thick pads.

She had begun a little ritual to pass the time. Listening above for a few seconds, then checking Paolina's pulse, and pouring a little trickle of water across her lips. Wouldn't they ever leave? The fear of the house being burned had been replaced by a desire that something- anything- would occur to end the terrible waiting.

At last, she got her wish. With a suddenness that almost made Aelia drop the flask of water she held to her cousins lips, there was the sound of a dozen boots simultaneously hitting the floor, and then confused shouts as they exited the house.

Were they gone? Still, Aelia could not risk opening the door to see. Distantly, the shouts continued, echoed with new sounds, horses, clangs...the sounds grew more and more distant, until at last they faded away.

"Paolina!?!"

"Aelia!?!"

"Paolina!?!"

Aelia wondered at first whether she had truly opened her eyes or not, the blackness of the room was so complete. Had she fallen asleep? Was that possible? Suddenly remembering the desperation of the situation, her hands raced toward Paolina's chest.

Her heart was still beating, but slowly...beneath the gentle pressure of

her forearm, Aelia could feel that the contractions still continued. Tears pricked at her sightless eyes. When would it end?

"Paolina!"

"AELIA!"

She gasped...those voices were almost like...

"AELIA!"

Quintus! Her heart rose in her chest, and she clawed toward the opening. It had not been a dream. They were rescued!

"Quintus!" Aelia called back, tears surging once more to her eyes.

Footfalls pattered into the kitchen anxiously, and then stopped, turning aimlessly, as though they were confused.

"Quintus!" She called again hoarsely, groping in the darkness for the door.

"There!" it was Maximus' voice now, and with a gentle slump, she heard him fall to his knees and seize the metal ring.

The suddenness of light after such long darkness- even though it was merely the dim flickering of the chandelier overhead, hurt her eyes, and she briefly turned away.

"Aelia!" Quintus shouted again, pushing in front of his friend and reaching for her wrists. He grabbed them and lifted her quickly out of the darkness. 

"Oh, Aelia..." He murmured, rocking her back and forth as he crushed her against his chest. "My darling...when I saw the cottage I thought...."

His voice trailed off as Aelia pushed slightly away from him, seeking Maximus' eyes.

"Paolina!" She said, jerking her chin toward the cellar.

Maximus took a tentative step forward.

"You must send for the doctor."

"It is-?" His features were very tight.

"Yes...oh, Maximus." Her lips quivered. "It has been terrible. Hours and hours, but the baby hasn't moved....she is bleeding. You must fetch the doctor quickly."

"Carus!" Maximus called, and a young infantryman, limping slightly from a shallow wound to his leg, hurried into the room. "Fetch the surgeon...Immediately."

The boy opened his mouth as if to remind the legate that the surgeon was busy repairing their own wounded, but the officer's voice did not admit reply.

"Yes sir." He said, darting away.

Lighting an oil lamp on the table, Maximus lowered himself into the cellar.

He took a ragged breath as he saw his wife's body.

"Is she...?"

"She's alive." Aelia said, reluctantly leaving the sanctuary of her husband's arms. "For now..."

Maximus hesitated a moment more, and then he gathered the unconscious woman into his arms and began the difficult task of bringing her back up out of the cellar. Leaving the task to the men, Aelia scurried toward the bedroom. The chaos of their once ordered home was unsettling. The invaders had

clearly stripped all the items of worth that they could lay their hands on, and had destroyed many of the things that could not be easily carried away. She tried to ignore these things as she prepared the bedroom for her cousin's arrival.

The bed in the main room was shattered, but the nursery had been left more or less intact. No doubt the burly barbarians expected to find little of interest in a chamber filled with children's toys, and so the little bed was still whole and upright. In the cabinet beside it, clean sheets were left undisturbed. Aelia changed the linens quickly, finishing just as Paolina was carried into the room, then she ran downstairs to fetch some water.

When she returned, Paolina was lying prone atop the crisp white sheets.Only the blood, which continued to trickle down her leg, marred their perfect white. Aelia looked at the grim faces in the room.

"Is the doctor coming?"

Maximus' jaw tensed. "I sent for him. There are companies scattered throughout the valley cleaning out the invaders." His voice was sharp with despair. "It could be hours..."

Quintus laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. At first, he had been too relieved to find his own beloved wife intact to share his alarm at the situation. Now, however, it was easy to imagine himself in the legate's place. All too easily, it could be his Aelia on the bloodied bedsheets,

dying painfully while he could do nothing but wait.

"Take Maximus outside." Aelia said quietly, deciding what she would do.

"I want to wait here."

"Please!... it isn't decent..." Aelia said softly. She gave her husband a meaningful look and he lay his hand lightly on Maximus' back, turning him away. "I will come and get you if....If....."

At last, he turned and left the room. Aelia went to work. With light, and space in which to move, she did not feel so helpless. First, she removed Paolina's clothing, and tenderly brushed away the dirt and blood that had collected on her skin. The baby *would* be born, she thought with fierce determination- and it would be born in a clean and comfortable bed. After the task was complete, she laid her hands on Paolina's belly, pressing gently to feel the outlines of the baby.

"Come on, little one." Aelia spoke softly. She located the head, still turned upwards. So that was the problem- a breech. Aelia shuddered, knowing the danger of such a birth. She cautiously tried to move the child with her hands- a tactic attempted, unsucessfully, by Tertulla several times. She spoke softly to the baby. "I know that this has been a scary day, but you will not find the world so uninviting..." The sound of her own voice was comforting, and so she continued to speak. "Your tata is very interested to meet you...as am I...I have so many lovely dresses for you to wear- you will be a princess...but first you must be born..." She continued to work, growing more and more frustrated at her lack of progress. At last, in a final, desperate attempt, she merely pressed sharply downwards.

There was a sudden rush of blood-tinted liquid onto the sheets, and Aelia made a cry, certain that she had done something wrong. Then she remembered Tertulla's description of the events that would occur before the baby could be born. This was supposed to happen....feeling reassured, Aelia checked the birth canal once more.

She nearly yelped with joy as she discovered that, at last, the child had begun to move. It would still be a struggle, but the tiny feet had entered the canal. She continued placing pressure on the crest of Paolina's stomach and prayed quiet, feverent prayers that she hoped the Gods would hear.

"Aelia..."

The girl started, not realizing at first that her cousin was again awake.

"Shhh...." She quieted her cousin, raising a cup of water to her lips. "It is okay...it will be okay now..."

"The barbarians..."

"They are gone...we are safe. Maximus is here. Maximus is here and you are safe...."

"The baby...."

"She is coming, Paolina....she is finally coming."

"So...hard..."

"A breech." Aelia squeezed Paolina's hand reassuringly. "It will be allright. You are very strong. She is one her way."

"*He*' Paolina said forcefully.

Aelia frowned.

"My...my son...."

At last, Aelia understood . She was too relieved that Paolina had regained consciousness to argue. "*He* then...he is coming, cousin...be brave...."

"Cut me..." Paolina said hoarsly.

"What?"

"Cut me...you have to...save him...Aelia...promise."

Aelia could promise no such thing. She tried to quiet her cousin with another drink of water. "Shhh...there will be no need for that, Paolina...you will both be fine." But Aelia shivered at the thought.

The labor continued. Aelia suspected that the woman could no longer feel the pain. She drifted in and out of consciousness as the baby slowly moved into the world, finally stalling as its head reached the opening of her pelvis. The small, plump legs had already been born. They were slick and pale. The baby needed oxygen- soon. But, in spite of the strong contractions, he would not continue to move. He was stuck, Aelia realized. She tried to fight the panic that seemed to overwhelm her, carefully

thinking through the conversations that she had held with Tertulla...she must keep the cord from getting twisted...pull the legs straight....but what about the head. She felt her eyes glaze over as she struggled to remember.

There had to be something....

Unable to recall the midwife's advice, she thought of births that had been held on the farm. She remembered a foal who had been born with similar complications. She remembered the groom had turned the head...would it work?

She had to try. Taking a deep breath, she slid her fingertips along the baby's back, and turned him sharply to the right. She held her breath as she waited for a response. Then, with the next contraction, it was as though Paolina's womb had finally let go. The baby slid easily onto the sheet, very still and grey. Paolina's predictions had been correct. She had a son.

Aelia took the child into her arms and turned him onto his stomach, patting out the fluid that blocked his nose and mouth. She rubbed his back.

A wail.

Tiny and faint, Aelia could not have been happier to hear a great choir of seraphim. He was alive! She sank to her knees on the floor, clutching the tiny, gore covered creature to her breast.

"He is born, Paolina!" She said, excitedly, "You have a son..."   

Aelia lingered on the floor for just an instant, then, she skittered again to her feet. She laid the child against his mother's chest, brushing Paolina's hair away from her face. "Paolina?"

"I...I'm awake..." the voice was very faint, but relieved. Happy....

Aelia turned her cousin to her side and tucked the baby against her with blankets, allowing him to suckle as she turned her attention to the afterbirth and the troubling bleeding. She tied the cord with string, and then cut it with a small knife from the kitchen. How she wished that the doctor would arrive! To this point, she had managed to recall enough from her experience on the farm and her consultations with the physician to perform the tasks that were necessary. But they had only prepared her for normal births. She knew that Paolina was in trouble.

One in four young mothers would die in childbirth. It was a harsh reality that they had learned to live with...but she was still not prepared to admit that Paolina would be the one. She was so strong! So full of spirit! And Maximus loved her so dearly- surely the Gods could not be so unkind...The child seemed healthy. That, at least, was a blessing. Aelia had heard of mothers who toiled for days, only to bear babies that were already dead. The little boy seemed plump and perfectly formed...if only his mother could recover so well!

"How long has she been-?"

Aelia spun around as Manlius swept into the room. His tunic was deeply stained with blood, and his eyes were lined with fatigue, but the look in his eyes said that he was ready to battle the fates for the life of his beloved patient's wife. He stopped speaking abruptly as he saw the child sleeping at the woman's breast.

"The child has been born?" He said, incredulous.

"Yes."Aelia answered. " It was difficult...the feet were first and then...there is bleeding..." Aelia felt her eyes blur with tears as the terrible burden of saving Paolina passed from her shoulders. "I shouldn't have moved her...I didn't want to but."

"Shh....." Manlius comforted as he moved forward to inspect the new mother.

"You could not help it, my dear...You have done amazingly. The child is alive. There are many doctors who could not be as well." She was tired. He noted with the shrewd eyes of a physician, nearly at her wits end. She did not need to stay. "My assistant is coming, Aelia, as soon as he completes his work at the neighboring farm. You should get some rest...I will call if I need you."

Aelia nodded and walked once more to her cousin's bedside. "Fight, Paolina." She whispered, and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. Then she reached for the baby. He protested slightly, as he was lifted into his "aunt's" arms.

Aelia carried the baby to the washbasin and carefully cleaned away the gore and mucus of birth. His skin was pink now, and his limbs moved in protest at the assault. After the bath, Aelia diapered him in a heavy square of wool, and then she swaddled him tightly in a blanket.

She met Manlius' eyes. "I will show Maximus his son."

 

*****

 

Maximus jumped to his feet as soon as Aelia reached the foot of the stairs.

His eyes were blazing, boring straight into Aelia's own light orbs without noticing her bundle. "Is she-?"

"Manlius is tending to her now." Aelia said plainly. "He is doing all he can." She gave Maximus a sympathetic smile. "Here." She whispered softly, offering the bundle of blankets. "Look, it is your son."

Although sadness lingered in the soldier's eyes, there was joy as well, his expression softened, and he accepted the bundle carefully, as though it were filled with fragile glass. "My...son..." he said hoarsely, looking down at the sleeping baby. His eyes filled at once with tears, and he did not brush them away, nor hide them from the onlookers. His son!- and he was so much like Paolina- the same olive skin and crow-black hair. Although the child's eyes were tightly closed, he did not doubt that they would be coppery duplicate's of Paolina's own. He hugged the child tightly. If only Paolina would recover! Then, his joy would be complete.

Sensing how Maximus was lost in his own thoughts, Aelia and Quintus quietly slipped away....

 

33

 

Husband and wife went in the porch, and they hugged each other, trying to reassure themselves that the horrific day was at an end. Their minds had already gasped the concept,  but their hearts-- which had been  full of terror for so long-- still needed to absorb the fact that the danger was finally behind whem. They needed to feel each other's warmth and breath, to hear each other's heartbeats....Quintus caressed his wife's back as sobs of relief, weariness and shock began to shake her small frame. He whispered to her words of comfort, but he knew she had relieve herself from all the tension accumulated. It was the same feeling he felt after a battle- when the adrenaline left his blood and suddently all the pain and weariness that he had ignored until few moments before, rushed in.

Quintus also  needed time to calm down, and to dispell the memories of the terrible last days. Noone had predicted that the barbarians would be able to penetrate so far inside the empire's borders- borders considered completely safe until few days before.

When the scouts had reported that the barbarians were headed for Gergovia the world had almost stopped for him, for Maximus and for General Claudius. They were men used to hearing of villages attacked and destroyed, but Gergovia was so close to their winter quarters....so close to their beloved.

Claudius had immediately given orders to Maximus to follow the raiders and stop them. Quintus had obtained permission to go without asking.The Felix Regiment had gallopped through the German forests as fast as it could, the horses spurred by their riders' fears....The army arrived too late to save Gergovia but they had been able to intercept the barbarians on the outskirts of Lungudum and the fury of the Roman soldiers had completely obliterated the enemy. The price of the victory was high, however. Only after the surgeons began their sad work,  did Maximus and Quintus allow themselves to race to their homes, hoping against the all odds that the farms had been spared. Their hopes had crumbled when they saw the condition of Aelia's and Quintus' cottage. The little building had been pillaged and burned, as if the raiders, not finding anything of interest in it, had unleashed their rage on it.

With their hearts in their throats, Quintus and Maximus hurried toward the main villa. They searched every room, relieved to find no blood, but terrified because there was no trace of their wives ....untill they reached the kitchen and heard Aelia's voice. Quintus had always thought that Aelia's voice was beautiful,  but that day I had been the most wonderful sound he had ever heard.

Returning from his thoughts, Quintus sighed and stepped back to take another look at his beloved wife. He was startled when her body followed  his retreat, slumping forward heavily. He bent his head and looking to her face saw that she had fallen asleep on her feet. A gentle smile graced his lips as he gathered her into his arms, depositing her on a low sleeping counch, miracoulosly spared by the raiders. He knelt at her side and murmured, "Sleep my love, you deserve it."  He gave the sleeping figure a light kiss on the cheek and then stood up and looked around him, evaluating the situation. The barn and the granary had been torn open but not all the animals had been stolen. Horses, cows and sheeps were grazing in the nearby field and with a little patience they could be captured. The wheat fields were trampled in the wake of the barbarians' passage but, luckily, they had not been burned  as had happened on some of the other farms. All things considered,  the villa was in good condition compared to what they had seen during their march. It was as if the raiders had left it for last and in the end they did not had the time to steal everything.

They could consider themself lucky.

Quintus retrieved his horse and took out a piece of papyrus, a pen and the ink from a leather bag tied to the saddle. He wrote a brief message, telling to Aelia and Maximus he had gone to inspect the battlefield to check on the condition of the army. He left the message on a low table near the cot where

Aelia was still sleeping. He did not want to leave her but someone had to evaluate the situation and clearly Maximus was needed at the farm. Quintus prayed that when he returned Paolina's condition would be better.

 

*****

 

Back in the house Maximus paced back and forth at the foot of the stairs.

His son was still sleeping in his arms but the legate was becoming increasily nervous and resteless. He had always hated no knowing what was going on- more so now than ever, when his wife's life was at stake. He could barely imagine the possibility that Selene, his sweet Selene, might die and leave him alone with their child. His arms tightened unconsciuosly and the baby moved.

Maximus looked down and whispered, "Don't worry, my son, your mama will be all right."

Suddently he heard a sound of  steps on the hallway above his head and he almost ran to the foot of the stairs.

Maximus looked up the staircase at the doctor. The man's face was lined, his apron stained with blood.

"Is she-?"

"She's alive." Manlius answered calmly. "The worst is passed...you may see your wife."

Maximus let his breath out in a great sigh of relief. Still carrying his sleeping son, he covered the flight of steps in three leaps, and raced into Paolina's room.

"Shhh...." Manlius warned. "She's resting- let her sleep."

Maximus nodded solemnly, still moving toward the bedroom. She looked so pale! So weak! So strange, now that her abdomen was no longer stretched to contain their son...

Carefully, Maximus deposited the baby into a little basket beside the bed, then he went to his wife. "Selene...." He breathed softly, kneeling by the bed to stroke her cheek. Tears pooled at his eyelids, and he did not hold them back. Of all the things he claimed, nothing was as precious as Paolina ...nothing matched the fear of almost loosing her.

"I need to return to the troops." Manlius said, gently.

Maximus nodded, wondering how the doctor would be able to stay awake after such a long and tiring day.

"I will send a midwife along later to check on her- to make sure that the bleeding does not resume."

The legate nodded again. 

"She's a lucky woman, Maximus. She nearly died....her cousin's clear head-and more than a little determination on her own part- are the only things that saved her. I've seen women die from much less serious complications." He walked toward his friend and put a hand on his shoulder, wishing he could leave before he said anymore, but needing to impart some final information. "She hasn't escaped this entirely unscathed...."

Maximus turned quickly. "What? What will happen to her...."

"The bleeding has been severe...there are...tears....." He shifted his weight. The doctor was accustomed to working on men- soldiers at that not explaining female problems to anxious husbands. "There will be scarrings and, I'm afraid it's unlikely....and it would be better if...." He sighed. Enough with this awkwardness. "You and Paolina cannot have another child. I do not believe that it is possible and, if it were, it would kill her, without a doubt."

Maximus opened his mouth, but Manlius began speaking first. "This doesn't mean, of course, that marital relations must cease- there are times of the month that are safe and...other measures that I'm certain the midwife can explain better than I...If she does become pregnant, it must be terminated as soon as possible..."

No more children? Maximus felt a lump of sadness in his throat, and then he swallowed it away. How could he worry over this minor matter when Selene was safe? They had a son to love- that was enough ...and, more importantly, they had each other.

"I understand, my friend." Maximus said, shaking the man's hand. "Thank you for your advice and.." His voice was filled with conviction as he spoke. "Thank you for your help...If I had lost her..."

Manlius smiled, anxious to leave. "Good luck, Maximus."

The legate watched as the doctor exited the toom, and then he laid his head on Paolina's pillow. Beside them, in his little basket, the baby slept as well. The world was right again...for now.

 

*****

 

Maximus was awakened by the thin wail of the child, and by a movement beneath his arms. "Maximus?" It was Paolina's voice. Her throat was scratchy and dry, but she sounded happy. "You're here?"

"Yes..." Maximus said, tenderly brushing back her bangs and momentarily ignoring the crying. "I am here, Paolina. You are safe."

She made a soft sound that he couldn't interpret, and then weakly tried to raise her head. "The baby...."

Maximus pushed her back down against the mattress. "He'll be okay...rest...."

"Hungry..." She tried to sit again. "He needs me...."

At last, Maximus understood. "Shh....I'll get him."

Maximus retrieved the child from his basket and settled him in front of Paolina. She was still naked, clad only in a thin blanket, and the baby found her breast quickly. Maximus felt a surge of awe as he watched the tiny creature recieve nourishment from its mother. Paolina's body had always filled him with wonder, but he had always viewed her from an aesthetic perspective...now he saw that she was made to be a mother...the mother of his children. Child. He corrected himself sadly. Abruptly, he tightened his arms around his wife.

She looked up at him, briefly, as if to say "What is that about?" And then lowered her head again...in a few more minutes, she was asleep.

 

*****

 

Aelia woke up and slowly opened her eyes. She looked up and saw the sun had just begun to disappear and the sky was red....red as blood...red as Paolina's blood.

Aelia sat up on the low counch and waited for her head, light from hunger, to stop spinning. As she did so, she noticed the note Quintus left on the table. She picked it up, read it and put it in her pocket. She realized that she was stalling the moment of her return in the house- that she was afraid of what she might find in there. Finally she gathered her courage and entered inside.

The house was quiet and looked deserted. Luckily there where not noises of weeping or desperation nor cries of pain. Aelia tiptoed on the upper floor and slowly opened the door of the nursery.

Paolina was lying on the bed and Maximus was beside her, his arm gently wrapped around her no longer swollen belly. Their son was sleeping in the crib near the bed and the scene looked very peaceful, if not for the smell of dried blood which lingered in the small room.

Aelia shivered as she closed the door. Paolina had been so close to death that day and she could not erase from her mind the images of her suffering and the unwanted thought she too might one day be in her same situation. Of course, Quintus would want children. She did too...but the pain...and the risk. Though she was too young to remember her mother's death, she had been affected by it profoundly. She remembered the haunted look in her father's eyes, and how he would lock himself in his chamber when the cries of a woman in labor rang through their cramped insula. Of course, there were ways to avoid birth.... Unbidden, an image of Paolina, white and nearly dead, writhing with pain came to Aelia's mind, and she nearly cried out loud.

No-She could not let that happen to her! She could never have a child.

It was decided.

Aelia shivered at them implications. Absolute safety meant removing herself from Quintus' bed. Her conviction waivered as she thought of abandoning their nights of passion. How she loved the feel of his skin against hers,  the pressure of his body within her. The sticky sweetness of his seed...And what would Quintus think? He would be away with the army for several days, but when he returned, he was bound to seek her out. Would he understand? He was a soldier...would he have patience with her fear? Would he seek his release from other sources?

Overwhelmed with the day, and uncertain about what to do, Aelia cried herself to sleep.

 

34

 

Nine days had passed since the raids. Nine days in which the little farm slowly came back to order. Many of the slaves, and almost all of the servants trickled home and began putting the house in order. Among them, Aelia's little housemaid, Circe, was conspicously absent, but the women would not allow a warrant for her arrest as a runaway. In spite of her inability to deliver them, Aelia wrote out the papers granting the girl her freedom, and she prayed that, if Circe was still alive-someday, she would be able to give the girl this gift.

 

*****